Just to remind me that I am never really safe, I am never really in control, and I am never certain of a damn thing. That is why we call them Take Home Babies. They are not christened so until you get to take them home.
If I believed in tempting fate, I would really kick myself for the title of my last post. Over confident fool.
I am an over confident fool, but not a foolish fool. I knew when I saw the blood the first day in the toilet it was nothing to panic over. (Ok, there was mild panic.) It has been so long since I saw it in the toilet, not just on the tp. Then the next day - there it is. You feel it, don't you? Forfuckssakethatwasnturinethatjustpassedwasit. A second day of blood in the toilet, so I called the OB.
I should explain that it was brown. I think the first day might have been more reddish brown, but perhaps it was the shock of seeing it there swimming in my toilet. I fully expected the soothing nurse to listen, ask questions, reassure me and tell me "of course it is no bother - you call us any time you have a concern". I hung up and the office called me back in less than five minutes to tell me to come into the office.
I had a very bad experience with the OB. You might remember her evil, hateful self from the last time she made me consider leaving this OB practice. Doesn't that just boil your blood?
The Evil OB was dismissive and short tempered. The best way to sum it up is she saw me as a fanatic worrier who wasted her time, her precious time. Please recall, the office told me to come in, not the other way around. She treated me like a housewife with a spider in her kitchen.
Here are some key comments I think you will enjoy:
- "I don't know."
- "Women have been bleeding since the dawn of time."
- "Women bleed and many can go on to have healthy babies."
- Editor's note: do you like that, "many" and "can"? Bitch.
The Evil OB told me everything was fine.
What the fuck the does FINE mean?
She was as heartless as they come.
I have had a speculum. Haven't we all? She made it feel like an umbrella was opening my body. The real kicker? I saw the heartbeat a good 20 seconds before Evil OB bothered to point it out to me. It felt like 20 years and I will never, ever forgive her for it.
I have a follow up appointment scheduled with the Caring OB to get some real answers.
I am 13 weeks today and the longest first trimester of my life is over.