Attack of the placenta previa nerves

I guess I do not cope well with stress.  I bet my family and friends would line up to tell you this is the truth.  

I had my follow up appointment to review my 20 wk u/s results today.  I had the whole live long morning to sit and speculate, plus I worked from home.  Never a good idea to have unchaperoned Roccie home with Dr. Google before an appointment.

First offense:  I ate almost an entire bag of Chicago style popcorn - the kind that is half cheese and half caramel.  I ate the whole bag in just over 24 hours but 90% was chowed today.  Sigh.

Second offense: I got mad at Resolve.  Who gets mad at Resolve??  This tightly wound momma.  Gah.  Not my proudest moment.  

It appeared the Resolve post was slinging desperation and partnering it with donor eggs and surrogates.  So, I let 'er rip.  I spouted on Twitter and, worse yet, I spouted on FB.  Can't really hide when you run yer yap on FB.  I guess I could have just deleted the comment, but I felt like I owed the follow up apology and moreover, I owed the explanation as to what my confusion was all about.

By the time I got my hot head to the OB I was feeling much more calm.  I think the blowup and massive sugar come down expelled all that negativity.  There really has to be a better way.  Shame I haven't learned a healthy method in my 40.5 years...

Glinda had a lot of optimism to share around the placenta previa.  Mine is marginal, meaning it is encroaching in the 2 cm safety zone that should exist between the cervix and the placenta.  

Best news is that is can get better or stay the same.  Getting worse is not really an option with placenta previa.  How about that one?  Whew.  So I am back in 4 wks for another u/s.  I made the appointment in my OB office as I can schedule around the Biggest Jerk In the World, the Evil OB.

Glinda had phoned last week around my long wait in the office.  Her message was thoughtful and personal.  She was very apologetic as she was caught in an emergency c-section.  Guess who was at fault for it?  Evil OB.  Ha, small world.  

It was a funny and sweet bonding moment with Glinda and Roccie vs. placenta previa and the Evil OB.

Holding pattern

Me and my acne.  Sort of seems unfair in the grand scheme of things.  My aging and egg-less body, but I have the complexion of a fertile teen who is chock full of eggs. 

I promise you a picture one of these days, unless that is too crass?  I have a couple contenders brewing on my chin as we speak.  No pride and I will do anything for a laugh, especially when it is at my expense.

Toddlerina has been sick as a goat.  She is beastly when she is this sick.  I had my follow up with Glinda the Good OB yesterday.  Packaged up my sick little beast goat and took her with me since she was banished from school with The Fever.  

This is how much I wanted to have the appt and get the low down on the placenta previa.  That sentence about packaging took all my might.  There was just no pleasing Her Majesty.

Glinda kept me waiting for one hour.  Toddlerina read every book in the basket then ate her snack.  Now what?  We left the office with no sign of the good doctor in the house.  Hrmpf.

I wasn't mad, but I did play up the weary look on my face and pinched Toddlerina so she would be a sobbing mess when we walked out.  

Just kidding, but only because she didn't need the pinch to cue her inner beast.

Pregnant wanker Fertiles

My sisters, I was blatantly rude to the douche bag who just came in my office to announce he was 10 weeks pregnant.

     "Sure happened a lot quicker than we thought."

     "This heat is killing her."

     "We will definitely find out what we are having." 

I sit here with a baby in my belly at 21 weeks and his words still sear me like a hot sword to the gut. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion.

Sending you all my best as you encounter your own personal bags of D in your life.  

It sucks and you are not alone.

"Just try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy"

All is well.  I would be lying if I told you I slept well last night.  No nightmares, but I wound myself up by the time I was on the table.

Thanks for the champ advice, Nurse Ratched.  Anyone can TAKE the reservation, it is KEEPING the reservation that is the hard part.

We will have a follow up appointment in 6 weeks as I just might have placenta previa.  The doctor believes it will correct itself.  He told me the only risk was a requirement to have a c section, but Dr. Google is freaking me the fuck out with preterm labor.

I hope you think this picture is funny.  

I hope I am not turning into that asshat we all hate on FB by posting this.

The danger of the ziplock

You should at least struggle slightly when eating cookies.  In the morning.  I don't care if it is green tea, you are still eating cookies for breakfast.  

Or second breakfast in my case.

The ziplock allows you to take a reasonable portion out to enjoy.

The problem is when the ziplock grants easy access to top off your napkin one more time.  Correct the poor tea:cookie ratio of your first batch.






We head in tomorrow for our level II ultrasound, aka the regular 20 week u/s to you young folk.  My senior status awards insurance approval for all the high end testing that a 27 year old egg doesn't really need.  I am delighted to take advantage of it.

I always worry a little bit that the technician might slip and say something about the sex of the baby.  We don't want to know.

That is my biggest worry right now.  Accidentally finding out the sex of the baby.  What.  Who am I???

Oh, donor egg, how I love thee.

Your price is high at times, but eventually you start to give back.

Flowers from Toddlerina

We had massive storms in Chicago this morning.  It was a record for ComEd in the number of folks left without power.  We lost ours in the first 3 minutes.  

I had to cancel my work from home day without power.  I may slack when I work from home, but not having an internet connection is a dead giveaway.

I said good bye to all the fresh groceries I had put into the fridge yesterday in my new Effort to Eat Healthier.  Waste of money.  I put my dogs in kennels in the dark with a flashlight, hoping the batteries would last until power was restored.  Guilt.

I got dressed in the dark and put on clothes that did not need ironed.  I had product-free, air-dry hair that I went to sleep with wet the night before.  Ugly.  I gave a brief prayer of thanks I was not born in the 1800's.

It was a loooong and very hot day.

Toddlerina picked me some flowers when we came home from school.

Can you see how beaten they are?  Past their prime?  Hell, one of them has no petals. 

Sentimental fool that I am, I send you all my very best withered, tired, but oh so beautiful flowers.  

They made my day.

DE babies love Woody Allen

I am recently released from house arrest.  

My sister in law stayed with us for 2 weeks.  In a row.  She is great and all, but did you know that 2 weeks is 14 days?  In a row?  I have much to catch up on.

Rocco and I made it out to see a movie this weekend.  About 10 minutes into it, the Indian food we had eaten kicked in - that baby was mooooving!  It literally took all my might not to stand up and shout: 

"Do not be alarmed!  The baby is alive!  The baby is ALIVE!!  This just might work out!!" 

Boy, wouldn't that freak some people out.

....... did I just sit here and contemplate deleting everything I just typed for fear of tempting Fate?  Yeah, maybe.  Old habits die hard.

I wish we all lived closer and could meet for a milkshake.  I am a grinning fool.  Scared, sure, but man, am I happy.

ps - Whoever found my blog with the search phrase "scared to poop after an embryo transfer": can you please self identify so I can be your new best friend?