Roller coaster! Woo hoo, hoo hoo hoo!
I wrote this last post in draft night but it is all null and void.
We picked a donor. I got buyer's remorse. I feel back in love with my donor. I started composing my thank you letter to her in my head during my spare moments. She was the great love of my life.
She did her last 3 cycles at Large Fertility Operation, where my doctor lives. Isn't there some kind of gimme rule? I LOVE her. I swear I saw her down on Waveland last weekend. The donor is good enough for LFO, but not good enough for my RE.
Since the rejection, she has been replaced. I feel in love again. Then #2 love of my life was a preemptive reject. Slow this shit DOWN. Looking at the numbers, we decide our RE will not approve her either.
Ah... but Number Three. I swear. I think she is The One.
We are not in control. I get it.
Old post that doesn't really matter anymore, just for a laugh:
Sometimes I struggle with the commitment to our donor. What if someone better comes. Someone who looks more like me. Someone who makes more eggs. Better eggs. Faster eggs. Okay, so faster doesn't count.
Rational minds say: a couple's genetics cannot turn out the same baby more than once. Conceptually, I know this. Rocco and I could never make another like the little we have now. Adding a donor is just another variable.
Peace. Peace. Peace. Repeat until at peace.