Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Please come to the POAS debate. Please?

Pineapple.  It is starting to taste as bad as that Royal Jelly did.  Not quite, but pretty darn close.

We transferred one, a donor 4BB that was hatching.  I can't really tell you what this means, but I can tell you that Toddlerina was a graded lower plus the two we transferred were my senior eggs: 3BB or a 2AB.  The donor fresh cycle was a 4AB.  No BFP.  Can't you see the logic?  Rar.

I feel different this time.  I am not as stressed.  I think the fresh cycle was a long road - accept you need donor, find agency, find a donor, filter feedback on donors from well meaning family members, secure donor (remember my first donor was rejected).

Freak out through the entire process.  Out of body experience.

The long and treacherous road from retrieval to fertilization.  Law help me, freak out.

This time I had a lot less balling me up.  The cyst was a mofo, but it really gave me some time to sort my head and heart out.

You are going to think me MAD when I ask this, but lets talk POAS.  I will do it.  There is no stopping me.
  1. What day is the first day I can POAS?
  2. If you tell me Day 6, does transfer day count as Day 1 or is it the day after?
  3. Should I spare everyone from the day by day account of my testing?  I read blogs where people just show up pregnant and I am in awe of the self control they possess.
We need a library of POAS categorized by brand and day past transfer.  I tell you, I look back at my "positives" now and I think I was delusional.  Yeah, the line is better in person, but really.  Get a grip.  Might as well believe in Big Foot.

Please advise on your POAS.  If you are a non POAS please tell me your favorite thing about waiting for The Call.


  1. It is dpt (Days Past Transfer) so the transfer day is Day 0.

    I try really hard not to POAS. I can't stand the sight of a negative HPT and I usually know in my heart the results before the RE even calls.

  2. I'm not sure what to say about POAS. I've never remotely been pregnant, and so never P(ed)OAS. But I think that I will have to try this out after our ET, just so I can join in this common experience. I am interested in what your readers will say about when they start to test.
    I'm glad to read that you are calmer and more grounded this time around. Welcome home, little embryo!

  3. welcome back to the 2ww! i'm not a POAS-er... i prefer to wait in blissful ignorance and just ignore the fact that i don't know anything yet. i hate the mind game that POAS does to me :-) best wishes.

  4. Ughhhhh the two week wait. I dread being there again. I usually last till 10dpo (never been sophisticated enough to have anything to "transfer").

  5. Do you want to transfer out the HCG? In this case, test early...I've never done that, though...I am most concerned with the final result (and slightly cheap), so if I test, I start around 10 or 11 dpo. That said, I do like waiting to test until the morning of beta.
    Whatever you do, I want to know your every move. I'm just sayin'.
    Crossed appendages for you! Stick embie stick!!!

  6. I've never been through a ET, but I've had 3 BFP's in my life, but I only have one son from those. Anyway, I have had my earliest VFBFP at CD10, and by CD12 it was a dark line. My cycles never allow me to test, as they are only short, but I held off till CD12 last one and af turned up within 10 seconds.

    I suggest picking a date on the calendar to first test and don't cave before it. It takes the pressure off when to test. Keep any hpt's out of the bathroom, or don't buy any till you hit the date you selected.

    I wish you all the sticky baby dust in the world.....xo

  7. I started poas 3 days after my 5 day transfer. I have no self-control, obviously.

  8. I don't know the answer to most of your questions, but I want to hear about it. I'm so excited for you.

  9. I poas 4 out of 5 cycles when I knew that I could potetially get a positive, what was that 10dpt or something like that? Shit, I can't even remember anymore. Like you would say, thank Law that I don't. The one cycle I didn't poas and waited for the call was Devastating. I thought my heart stopped when the re's office called. I even made R listen to the message first. It sucked and I would never wait again for the call. Kudos to those that do. Not for me. I agree with the girls above about picking a date when you know it could be a positive and set that as your test date. Don't poas constantly, it's more stress that you definitely don't need. You're keeping your feng shui all in line this cycle, remember? You have hair like Medusa, you don't need to poas earlier than you need to just for that simple fact. XO. Thanks for the birthday wishes, Sugarbritches.

  10. For the first cycle, I POAS'd 10dpt (with a 2-day transfer). When it was negative, I was so upset and I got no sympathy - everyone said it was too early, can't trust it, etc. They were trying to give me hope, but instead I just felt like crap with no support. Very lonely and not recommended.
    So second time around I really tried not to test - and I almost made it. I decided to go for it the night before beta #1. I figured I could endure 12 hours of "mind-f**k" in my head.
    Also, the first time I used the digital stick that shows "Pregnant/Not Pregnant" but second time went with the lines - Early Response I think? Two reasons: (1) I read that the battery on the Pregnant type of stick runs out, so when I (finally) got a positive reading, it would fade away, and that just wasn't cool, and (2) I liked the element of hope with the lines, so maybe if it wasn't positive, or maybe it could be just a little bit positive, it wasn't all-or-nothing.
    Either way - good luck! Two weeks will fly by (hahaha)

  11. As for me... I waited until the very last minute to POAS... I hate the negatives. I had to really talk myself into it.

    Congratulations for reaching this very exciting point. There's all the hope in the world for this cycle. I am sending all the positive thoughts and prayers that I can.

    Welcome little snowpea, make yourself at home.

  12. I'm a POAS-aholic. I just can't help myself. That said, I wouldn't do it before 11dpo/6dpt (though, ahem, I have been known to do it earlier). I say 6dpt because any earlier than that is just a murky area - a white HPT makes you feel horribly before then, but it doesn't really *mean* anything because it's too early. Control freak that I am, I can never leave it to the phone call. I've always thought that women who do deserve medals for valor and endurance.

    I'm glad you're in a good place, Roccie. I know it's still hard, and that the wait is still fraught. But I'm glad that you're taking this wait in stride, not trying to get on top of it (wise words that have stayed with me).

    So, come in, totsicle. Make yourself at home. Stay a good long while.

  13. Believe in bigfoot!! Hahaha. I don't know Roccie, those pee sticks are evil. I hate them so I am of no help. I am very, very hopeful for you!!

  14. Yes, transfer day is day 0. My first positive with the twins on my fresh cycle was 6dp5dt. Walmart Equate. I wouldn't test any earlier. On my FET I tested a day earlier and it was there but faint (also multiples) so I would hold off until 6dpt at least, esp because you transferred one.

    I agree to go with two lines, because a friend of mine who is VERY pg got negatives on her digitals but was getting positive lines for a few days before the "Pregnant" finally showed up on the dig.

    There's no way I can wait. I tried with the FET and I couldn't. help. myself.

    Hang in there Momma. You are already 1dpt. <3 <3 <3

    (Funny, the word verif for my post was resesst - as in Resesst testing too early. ;) )

  15. Well, I really suck at all this. I've tried every method, every ridiculous game. They all suck. With my first two pregnancies I didn't test before 12dpo, but I suspect I would have had a positive earlier (and this was back in 2002-3). With my more recent experiences....I had a negative HPT at 11dpo that turned out to be a positive beta the next day. And I've had many "positives" on cycles with negative betas; whether they were chemical pgs or me reading evap lines I'll never know.

    FWIW, I'll be testing tomorrow (6dp5dt) unless I chicken out. But I'll also say this: First Response is wickedly sensitive. If I test tomorrow and get a negative, I'm assuming it's a failed cycle or one that will end in a miscarriage. I'd rather know that now than be surprised later.

  16. Whatever you use, DO NOT use dollar tree tests!!! They gave me a negative for a day and a half after my bloodwork came back positive..... It was a very low positive, but still high enough to register on every other brand out there.

    Good luck!!!

  17. I peed on every absorbent object in my house, for all three IVF cycles. We never had any embryos to freeze (barely had enough to transfer), so I have no experience with FETs in general or with regard to poas'ing. With my final IVF cycle, I saw a faint positive on day 6 post-3-day transfer, and it was screaming positive by day 9 post-transfer (singleton; first beta on day 11 post-transfer was 89). But I am always in favor of golden showering a first response test -- I'm totally with ASP, I don't think waiting around for the heart attack call is worth it. I'd rather die a slow death of misery on my own before hand if it's bad news, or jump for joy and have a heart attack of delight for days on end before hand if it's good news. (In other words: would you rather wait around for "yes or no" when you could know the answer and process it, and hopefully be waiting around instead for "what's the beta?".) I also second the warning re: cheapo tests. In my experience, they either all looked semi-positive (when they were not) or just ghostly white without a trace of hope (that was actually accurate). I think they have less quality control per lot. Get the first response party pack. (And if you see 2 lines, go get yourself the digital one because seeing "Pregnant" kicks ass.)

    Oh, and obviously you should blog your every move. Inquiring minds need to know.

  18. 24 hours post transfer is Day 1...assuming that you transfered a Day 5 embryo I would POAS starting on Day 7...or 7 days past a 5 day embryo transfer. Your FET was Tuesday right? So next Wednesday. But I know of ladies that POAS as early as 4 and 5dpt and got BFPs. But I think 7dp5dt is a good start. As you know I am a POAS addict and got our "dumpster POAS" BFP at 7dp5dt. I had to hold it at the right angle and the right light to see the faintest line. Also, when you do the test, do it exactly as they say on the box. I collected my urine in a cup and tested and then set the stop watch on my cell phone to ensure scientific precision to rule out evap lines, etc. freakin' nervous for you!! But so glad you are not sweatin' it so far. You are doing great...hang in there!!

  19. I'm a die-hard POASer... can't resist the damn things. BUT...

    If they've had you on HCG at all, be very very wary. I P(ed)OAS the night before and morning of my first beta (despite the fact I was already bleeding - what?? It can happen and you can still be pregnant, Google told me so!), assuming than anything from the HCG shots would be out of my system by then - otherwise why would they do a blood test then right?

    Yeah no. Sticks showed positive. They were way too sensitive. To be considered pregnant beta has to be over 10 at my clinic. Mine was 5. Although I can never resist them, those pee-sticks are the spawn of the devil. Ugh.

  20. I don't POAS for IVF cycles. I do enough psyching myself out that I don't need the added stress. If it were negative I'd convince myself that it's just too early, and if it were positive I'd worry it would go away before the beta.

    I hate waiting for the call, but luckily both of my calls have been BFPs (not so luckily ending in miscarriages a few weeks later) so I can't really say how I'd handle a negative.

    But I did get extremely tired of seeing "Not Pregnant" on tests cycle after cycle pre-IVF...

    Sending good sticky thoughts! I so want this to happen for you!

  21. I have no self control what so ever I would POAS when I got home from transfer if the damn valium didn't make me so sleepy.

    I waited with the FET and was so sure it had worked that I about lost it when the Dr called and said no. So, that was the last none POAS cycle for me.

    I keep reading my post from when I got my BFP with Monkey (6dp3dt) to remind myself that it CAN happen.

    Because it can!

  22. Prior to my IVF cycle, I never P(ed)OAS. I told myself that I wouldn't test after my transfer, BUT I was such a ball of electricity that I just came home from work, marched straight to the bathroom 11dp3dt. I used a digi test because I didn't want to leave anything up to interpretation. I know some folks will POAS every day subsequent to their transfer so that they can watch the HCG leave their system so that they know when they next test the result isn't from lingering HCG...but I couldn't do that.

    I am fervently rooting for this FET, Roccie. Best to you and the embie.

  23. Pineapple rocks. Test if it's what you want to do. I got a positive with the digital at 10dp. <3

  24. Squee, 2ww! Fingers crossed for you!

    Obviously, I know nothing about IVF cycles. But I do know that I've always ordered my pregnancy tests 50 at a time. And then backed them up with other brands. As hard as I've tried, I just never could resist peeing early and often.

  25. Lots of POAS advice here and none from me: I never tested on a medicated cycle. I think either way, you'll do what you feel like you want to do and it will probably be a rollercoaster of emotions either way!! Hang in there! I am SUPER hopeful that this FET is it!!

  26. I POS 6 days after my 5 day embryo was transfered. It was negative then but came up positive 2 days later. I say test as early as you want if a negative won't send you over the edge. Use only the test that actually says "pregnant" or "hahaha fooled you". Good luck Roccie, I think of you often.

  27. When I started TTC 3 years ago, I would always wait to see if AF showed up and went through the 'please, please, please' stage. Last year I bought a bag of 50 sensitive POAS and went at it. I had a very faint positive after IUI at 10DPO (lost pregnancy at 14wks). I am having my 1st Dem FET a week Saturday and I will be using up those sticks and will start POAS at 7DP3DT. These days I am impatient and want to know one way or the other and can't drag it out. Plus I have never had a BETA test that I didn't already know I was pregnant. I plain refuse to go in for them on every cycle - a waste of money and POAS is much cheaper for a negative. Good luck.

  28. First, so excited to hear about your sounds so good. 4BB is great! Ok, I got a faint + at 5dp5dt which can be early, but what I liked about that time was that it gave me some time either way. My BFP m/c cycle I got prepared for the call and on my BFN cycle I was also prepared for the call. For me, it was accurate both times. I just wish you good luck and peace with whatever decisions you make.

    Oh, and ya, I want to see the lines!

  29. Am mad, non-POASer. Can't stand mind games -- know I will not trust result either way...even a good beta number is not a sure thing, but at least it's a better indicator. BUT I absolutely understand the urge to test. However you find out, I hope hope hope the news is good. Wishing you sanity during the maddening wait!

  30. I wanted to wish you so much good luck. I am anti-poas and know that is not the most popular beleif. If I ever do it, I will only do so the day of beta to avoid the testing everyday thing or the creeping thoughts that maybe this is a false neg or too early. Here to hold your hand no matter what you do !!
    hang in there

  31. Everybody love this debate! Although it sounds like you're not actually asking "should I?"

    Am I right in thinking that you have had not one but two chemicals in the recent past? Or maybe they are false positives to you? My goal is not to remind you of past heartbreaks or if you don't think they were chemicals to disagree with you--not trying to be an ass here, just thinking that it might be a lot scarier for you than the average pee-er. Me, I think a good FR is highly informative when used properly, and as long as you wait the appropriate amount of time (sounds like people are advising 6 days?) and face the stats like a man, you can believe a negative and watch your hope curl up and die. Not that this will happen in your case! A positive...well, that's more complicated, but might take the edge off waiting for beta. Anyway, blah blah blah, point is I'm so hopeful that your journey is about to take a turn for the totally wonderful, and I will gladly tapdance and juggle all week long if it helps the time go faster for you!

  32. TEN DAYS! I cannot believe they make you wait that long!! 8 will be the day before my technical expected period if I was remotely a normal person (which I am not). They wanted to test next Thursday, but I asked if it would be okay to test a day early because I am off work on Wednesday and would rather not have to deal with work either way.

    As for POAS, I must admit that I don't do it. I know, I am crazy. But I wait for the beta. I just feel like the numbers are what's important (science nerd, remember) and I would have a hard time taking much comfort in a test without that healthy beta to back it up! Plus I like to live on hope as long as possible :)

  33. I am a POAS whore. Pure whore. My husband still doesn't know that my first POAS day was 5dp5dt (Day 1 being the day AFTER the transfer) and it was a light positive. Then, that same day, I did another one, different brand - same result. Then I POAS at 6dp5dt and it was slightly darker and then again at 7dp5dt and it was darker again. I didn't tell hubs until 7dp5dt because I was afraid it may be the trigger left over but when it continued getting darker, I knew that it had to be the real thing. I am the type of personality that just can't wait. I can't agonize over waiting for the phone call if I can know earlier. I'm not good at letting myself be surprised (which is why I forced myself to wait to find out the sex of this baby - because I'm NEVER surprised!)

    So, PEE! Pee as early as you like, and stop in here and tell us every single detail. I hope like fuck this is the one Roccie. Thats right, I said "hope like fuck" because I do!