Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Kindness of strangers and taking it IRL

My RE has changed the medication schedule for FET this round.  It is not specific for me, but for all of The Infertile at Large Fertility Operation.  I like change, change is good.  I needed to scare up some Estrace/Estradiol and do an inventory on estrogen patches.

I had a moment all by myself up in the hallway just now.  Toddlerina was in bed, Rocco is working late, and the dogs were somewhere being quiet.  I want to call someone and tell her thank you.  I want to see how she is doing and check how things are moving on her end.  The problem is that I don't know where to find her.  Worse yet, I don't have her blog.

My definition of friendship has been turned on its ear.  I thought I knew what it meant, but it has been radically redefined by starting this blog.

A couple of months ago I got an email followed by a big box of unused medicine.  Our email exchanges were very brief.  I was deep in a funk and she was having PC problems.  I think I got her blog but it was password protected.  I asked to get in, but never got a response.

She stuck a fancy chocolate bar in with the meds she sent.  She gave me a link to her IRL.  You know.  So I could see she was not a freak.  She was safe to accept meds, though we had never met.

I was rooting through the box and I came across a sharps container.  It was filled with unused needles and something else.  I pulled it out and saw it was a EPT.

My eyes filled with tears for her.  Why doesn't she want this?  Maybe she doesn't need this?  I know they come in 3 packs... where are the other two?  Is she pregnant?  Did she retire?

Why did she take all the time to reach out to me, wait for my responses, pack it, add a note and a chocolate bar, then ship it?

I don't know who all comes here to read.  If you don't have a blog, start one tonight.  Tell me it is there.  I would love to come to your house.  Others will come.  They are in the same shit ship as we are and they make this passage so much easier.

31 comments:

  1. wow, that is an amazing story!!!!!

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  2. It is so true. Starting my blog is the best thing I have ever done in this shit journey. I can't imagine how lonely I would have felt if I had to go through this alone. Scary just to think about.

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  3. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't survive without the blogosphere to help me stay afloat. What an amazing link to have to your med donor. Like a message in a bottle.

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  4. Blogs definately reach out to people in more than words. I love hearing stories of random acts of kindness, especial in the infertile world, becuase we all know how much these kind gestures mean when we are face with nothing but torment and torture just leaving the frount door.
    (((hugs)))

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  5. What a touching story. She knew those meds and test would find a good home with you. Thanks for reminding me that there is definitely kindness all around us in this community. ((((♥))))

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  6. It's good to know that the IF blog world is full of generous hearts. God knows we've had the shit kicked out of us...being kind to each other is the least we can do. I'm glad you found a good soul to help you out Roccie. :)

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  7. That is a wonderful story. Brought tears to my eyes.
    I'm pretty sure I would have gone batshit long ago had I not started recording my feelings on one of my blogs.
    I hope she got her wish and her dream came true and I hope you get yours. It is so deserved. Best of luck, I'm cheering for you. :)

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  8. That is such an amazing story. I have been blessed enough to meet a few wonderful women through a "TTC/Mommy" site and I have been sent pregnancy tests, fertility necklaces and bracelets, and a huge group even got together and sent me flowers when I had my second miscarriage. These kinds of people are what make the world such a better place.

    *New Follower :)

    -Lavonne
    *Make A Wish*

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  9. I love that someone reached out to you and sent you the meds. You reach out to so many, myself included! :-) I hope you find her...

    For me, change is a good thing. I think it is going to be good for you, too.

    Much love to you as always!

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  10. That is amazingly kind. I hope you find her and I hope she didn't need the hpt for good reasons, just as I hope it gives you a big+++ that lasts forever soon.

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  11. What a great story. Blogging really is awesome.

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  12. Such an act of kindness. Look where blogging has brought us! I'll even forgive you for not writing up how much fun we had. Miss you. <3

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  13. That's so damn sweet. I like to think she's pregnant now, and that the left over magic HPT will bring you good luck. I have no question about why she took the time to do this, though. You are awesome and inspire that kind of generosity. Just not from me, 'cause I'm selfish and lazy.

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  14. Hi Roccie. Could you use two boxes of Vivelle patches and/or a box of PIO for your upcoming FET? I just weaned off meds and have some leftover that I would be happy to donate, if you could use them! Please e-mail me at ccrmjourney@hotmail.com.

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  15. Roccie, I really enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing it.

    My blog has been a sanity saver for me through this sh1tstorm. Seriously.

    Oh, and BTW, I also have several boxes of Vivelle patches I'd be happy to send you if you need them. (I found my clinic uses oral estrogen.) Email me at the address in my blogger profile if you want 'em.

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  16. I love this. It brought tears to my eyes.

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  17. You're right, and it's excellent advice. The difference between getting through alone and getting through with the help of one's blog sisters? Immense.

    That's a lovely story. Sometimes the kindness that exists in the world takes my breath away. Thank goodness for it.

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  18. Blogging probably kept me off of many meds and out of the loony bin during IF treatment. Very few "real-life" friends have understood what all of this is, how it works, how it *doesn't* work, and the toll it has taken on me. But my bloggy friends always have.

    Cheers to bloggy friends, bloggy friend.

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  19. Infertility and its accompanying shitstorm will show you the worst in humanity, but it will also show you the best. I can hardly believe it's true, but I am so grateful, every day, for the good things that the experience brought. I wish I knew you IRL but I'm so glad I know you here.

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  20. Great story. :) Definitely helps to be able to share the IF experience with other people, much as I hate that other people are going through this shit.

    XOXO

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  21. The kindness & compassion of people can be so surprising and beautiful, stories like that give me hope, hope that in spite of all the shit we've all been through there is such goodness in this world.

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  22. Wow Im glad I read this entry! I did a post not long ago about the underworld of the infertiles, and our drug deals. I too scored some Clomid from a fellow IF person whom I have never met. Im starting next cycle. Its a very big big thing to handover your meds to a woman in desperate need of hope. And the box I got is an absolute box of hope. She is now preg, so I hope I am as blessed as her... xo

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  23. Howdy, anonymous med donor here! I have been following your blog, Roccie. I was so sad to here about your cyst, and the following delay. I dealt with them too. I sent you the EPT because I had a rainbow of positive tests! I am pregnant from my last cycle, 24 weeks today in fact! I have a 7yo girlie, and we are having a boy this time. Current working name is 'baby brother'. I never was a great blogger, with the PC problems and moving into a new house, trying to sell the old one, coping is as much as I can do! Not to mention the all day morning sickness and migraines! Not that i am complaining, every kick reminds me what an absolute scientific miracle this baby is. I was part of a study using frozen eggs. They were thawed and ICSI'd with our donor sperm. After 4 years of trying, this was a financially viable option for us. We started with 10 eggs, all fertilized, 6 left at day 5, 2 transferred, 1 frozen, 3 stopped dividing. I have decided to restart my blog after returning from our weekend away. (Great Wolf Lodge) I keep having visions of me being washed up on the edge of the wave pool! I think I will clean it up a bit and start fresh. Some posts will be private, but my pasword will always be 'donorbaby' . Some things are not meant for the IRLers! So, that is my story in a nutshell. I will let you know when I am back up and running.

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  24. Retire - is that how it's called.

    Great that someone sent you a box of meds!

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  25. I have experienced the exact same kindness/generosity and friendship - all because of a little thing called a blog. I often fantasize how cool it would be to a have one big bloggers reunion with all our friends. It amazes me how a few strokes of a keyboard provides such an intimate connection with people we have never met!! I think of all my blog friends ALL the time and their stories are frequent topics of dinner conversation with the DH. Blogging has changed my life!! So any lurkers out there...what are you waiting for?!! Jump in so you can meet more cool people like Roccie!

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  26. Hey Roc!

    As usual, you said it so well.

    My blogosphere friends are my only friends. Blogging is that important.

    So glad to be able to peak in at your life.

    LS x

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  27. She found you, and is pregnant. Excellent end to a happy story.

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  28. Surprised that people love you and send you meds, love and chocolate? No, not at all. You are wonderful. You are living compassion. You inspire me and so many others.
    Loved reading your post and then Heidi's, your anonymous donor. Pregnant, not retired. How sweet is that!
    Hoping the cycle is off to a good start, sistah. I keep you in my heart and in my thoughts.

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  29. I am new here and this post changed everything for me. The chicken who has now started writing. Loren aworkingprogresss@gmail.com

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