Saturday, March 12, 2011

I am cured!

I feel like a million bucks.  I am a good time.  I am patient and forgiving.  I have hair like Medusa since I recently came out as curly, and I just don't care.  Love me, love my mop. 

My dance card is full.  I am happy and things are really going my way.

What does it all mean?  Please tell me you have seen that Rainbow Guy.  I feel like him, trying to identify - what is the meaning?  What does it all mean?  Who the fuck am I to be so happy and content? 

I am cured, I know it.  Let's stop the crazy meds.  I am better and I want to get pregnant and I want it to be uneventful and I want a Take Home Baby.  I had a follow up call with my psychiatrist and popped the question.

She told me no.  Hmpf.  Something about needing to stabilize for 12-18 months.  I didn't shave my head for crying out loud.  I just cried.  A lot.  Everyone does that?  Right?  But not me.  Not anymore.  

Don't get me wrong, I can still cry.  I can have someone slip me a mix tape that chokes me up and I have to hit eject, eject, eject.  Eject.  Everything just seems so easy now.... wait for it....

Maybe I can handle transferring two?  I can manage twins.  We can manage twins.

Ha, we should be so lucky.  I know we will transfer one.  But if I do not get a BFP, there will be some serious self abuse in this house.


  1. Uh...Excuse me, waiter...I'll have what SHE's having!

    Glad you're feeling so great! What a perfect state of mind to be in for your transfer! Stay right there and focus on all that is good.


  2. Awesome Roccie...keep the good times rollin'!

  3. So delighted that you're feeling good. Isn't it amazing?? Hey, why not two?...Sending love your way.

  4. 12-18 months! Who can remain stable for that long? Not I, said the Paige. I can feel the happiness in this post and I wish I knew you in person so I could see it too. One, doesn't're on your way to becoming preggo.

  5. 12-18 months? Give me a break! I don't think it's possible to be "stable" for that long! What kind of life doesn't have at least one crisis every year and a half?

  6. glad you are feeling good and ready for your FET! best wishes. and yes, i'd LOVE some of what you are having.

  7. Yay! I'm glad you are feeling so wonderful! I would love to have a little bit oh that please! ;-)

    I have a great feeling about your FET. I do! I'm certain this is it!

    Um.. self abuse?

  8. So glad you're feeling better! : )

  9. xxx to you Roccie. I love that your dance card is full.....and that you are HAPPY. Woop to that. How freeing and light you must feel to have all those heavy monkeys off your back so you can dance.
    And its great news that you are back on the FET wagon. It's your time baby. x

  10. I'm glad you're feeling better again, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for good FET juju!

  11. It's so good to hear you are feeling pretty good. Yeah!! Spring right around the corner will help keep you there. As will being pregnant! Everything I have is crossed for you.

    My husband is applying to PA school this spring, one of his choices is in Chicago. If he ends up there, I hope I get to meet you.

    PS, I have Medusa hair every day. ha ha

  12. You are the rainbow. You are full amazingness. And now you are feeling better and I couldn't be happier for you that the nasty gloom of depression has lifted. A Take Home Baby it is. Or maybe two.

  13. Sounding good!

    Well - there's always the risk of identical twins ...
    I've just promised myself not to worry about twins again (unless we do move on to donor).

  14. That clammy thing you feel is me holding your hand, hoping everything goes smooth as silk tomorrow. I have no expertise in the domain of crazy meds, but that sure seems like a long time... I hope when you're all pregnant with that take home baby she cuts you some slack. Lots of love to you and that one lucky embryo.

  15. Thoughts of you will not leave my mind tomorrow, as I wait in the waiting room for Sattva's egg retrieval. I will know that in a clinic in Chicagoland is my Roccie, welcoming home an embryo. Be comfortable little embie. Stay a while and grow.

  16. Hoping hard for you, Medusa head. And you know what? Sometimes there ARE double rainbows in life. And they're just beautiful. (Though, I hope that youtube video ended okay because my husband made me turn it off after listening to the first five seconds:)

    But, most especially, I hope that something magical is about to begin tomorrow, and that it's going to open up all kinds of rainbows.