Saturday, September 11, 2010

Have uterus; need eggs

We had our phone consult with CCRM and Dr. G. this week.  

No shit show to report.

IF YOU READ ANYTHING READ THIS:

Dr. G told me the miscarriage rate is not 40% but 25-30% with my own eggs.  I sure wish I had some clarification here.  Online searches tell me 40%.  Is this a reflection on the CCRM attitude?  Capabilities?  I don't know, but I like it.  I felt like such a jackass for sharing that stat a couple posts ago.  I am delighted to retract and correct it. 

The call went better than expected.  I was fully prepared to leave the call wanting more information.  We expected to have to decide if I would complete the one day $4000 (!) evaluation to determine our next steps.

He said my numbers look normal (are you coming on to me Dr. G??).  He confirmed our last cycle met his approval - aggressive stimulation.  The pre-cycle prognosticators (I just wanted to use that word) were normal (FSH 5.6AMH <0.5, Antral follicle count 10-11).

The call also went worse than expected in some manner of speaking.  CCRM said most women my age with my general stats can expect a 50% chance at pregnancy.  Awesomeness.  Based on my last 2 results, he was cutting my number to 25%.  

What.

This is a much better number than what Large Fertility Operation told us.   Dr. G doesn't doubt he can get us to retrieval.  My current RE only saw a 10% chance to make it to retrieval.  There were gentle disclaimers from Dr. G, but I sensed he was confident we would make it to surgery using a different plan of estrogen priming.

Here is the crusher: the 25% reflects a one time fresh transfer.  I was hoping it would be similar to my IVF that resulted in a live birth.  We had one leftover embryo to freeze.  Dr. G clarified we would transfer everything from the retrieval, no expectation to make it to freeze.

It is one thing to see a 25% chance of success and two tries, but a one shot deal at 25%?

I am out.  I already sent the note over to Mel asking to move me over to the Donor Gametes room.  I can't wait to meet the blogger named Rocky Road over in the DE room, but my girl hasn't posted since 2007.

Dr. G summed it all up nicely.  Don't think about the numbers.  It isn't about the statistics.  Think about where you will be 5-10 years down the road.  What will you feel when you look back?

To quote my Rick Rollin' friend:

We're now pursuing domestic adoption donor eggs and looking forward to focusing on "when" we become parents instead of "if."

No joke, Amber.  I thought about that line a lot over the last few weeks.  It has always stuck with me.

Elegant.  Simple.  Heartfelt.
 
The End.



Technical notes for the die hards:

  • DE program comparison - transfer 2 embryos with an 85% chance of pregnancy.
  • Embryo glue is real.  He had a laugh when I asked him about it.  This might be old news, as Dr. G did not expound upon it.  It is a product with some kind of acid that creates a viscous environment, used for both IVF and DE.  Online search tells me it comes from UCSF, the first reported in 2003.
  • What about that progesterone on the rise that damned your IUI from the start?  It is not likely to be a recurring issue for all retrievals.  My number was 1.4, a sure killer in a fresh transfer.  Virtually guaranteed to kill your success.
  • The CCRM estrogen priming is different than my last estrogen priming cycle.  Dr. G stated it is not better or more aggressive, but different.  Large Fertility Op used patch estrogen priming where CCRM would have me take estrogen for a month.

23 comments:

  1. That is a lot to take in. Good luck with donor. Those odds look better. I hope you get all you want +1.

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  2. I'm glad you had a thorough phone call and can now move on. I will cheer you as a fellow DE mommy to be. Are you going to do it there?

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  3. I'm happy that line has stuck with you. You have no idea how many times *I* have said that over and over in my head throughout the waiting to be matched and after the most recent failed cycles. I knew that we always had a plan on what our next move would be and adoption is where our hearts were and are at and have been for the past 10 months. When you're heart tells you something, you listen and you run with it. I think you're finally running with it. Good for you. I can't wait to cheer you on. ♥

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  4. Not "if" but WHEN. I love that. Sending love...

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  5. I think the biggest hurdle to DE is the psychological one and if you've already jumped that hurdle then I say grab donor eggs with both hands baby and run!
    It IS exciting and your consult sounded mostly great. Its a crappy subject to have to discuss in the first place so we can't expect it to be all roses all the time I guess. Would be so much nicer to be an "oops" pregnant person but sadly we have to take the scenic route around here.
    I feel really confident for you, its a fresh start and one with such huggable statistics (I know Dr G said not to think about the numbers but when they are good numbers surely its ok?)
    Yay for a plan, much love to you.

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  6. Yeah, that 25% makes it a tough decision. My dr. told me less than 6% with my own eggs so my decision was easy in comparison to yours. You're on your way though! DE is not so scary once you've made the choice. When is an important word.

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  7. Do you feel relieved now that you have taken the mental plunge? It sounds like you are in really good hands.

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  8. Relief doesn't begin to cover it. I hope my happiness comes through this post? I guess I should have stuck a smiley face in there somewhere.

    Happiness seems like a strange word to choose, but that describes where I am right now. Whew.

    You know what is funny? To me the 25% felt like a 6%. I am tired. I have a lot of fight left, but not with my eggs. The only time I felt a surge of energy was when we discussed plans for DE.

    Happy and content Roccie. Someone take a picture. Sourness has finally left the building.

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  9. Great, you gave sourness the boot. Clearing a mental hurdle is so much of the battle. Looking forward to the when with DE.

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  10. Wonderful!! Sorry you were not able to try your OE one last time but I get the sense you really feel ready to move onto DE. I am so excited for you and will also be cheering you on as a fellow DE IVFer. Have you decided where you will cycle?

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  11. A very interesting phone consult it seems.
    Great that it confirms you in your decision, and doesn't leave you more unsure of where to go now.


    Bring on the eggs! ;-)

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  12. It always feels good to have a plan doesn't it? I love the not if, but when...I may have to use that line too! Hoping the donor side of things works out for the both of us:)

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  13. Huzzah! Absolutely sounds like the right choice for you. I can feel your relief :) Good luck with the next steps.

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  14. I am so glad to hear that you are happy and content! What a great place to be emotionally.

    Looking forward to hearing about your path forward.

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  15. You sound fabulous! Send some of your zen my way please :-)

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  16. Wow, you kicked that decision's ASS! Totally amazing. I'm sorry about everything you've had to go through to get to this point, but really hopeful and excited for this next phase.

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  17. Whoa! You sound like you are ready to go, girl! I am so glad you guys got your sails set in the wind, and are moving full speed ahead toward your goal. Awesomeness, all around! Hope springs eternal!!! I am so excited for this incredible next step for you guys!
    Also, we have to chat C25K. My Dh just got the Nike+ app, and I guess I should too...is it as awesome as he says? How far into the program are ya??

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  18. I think you know when you know. Not before that moment. I'm glad for you, Roccie, though don't think for a moment that in moving rooms you're losing your entourage. I want a happy ending here. I want it soon. I will stay here until I get it.

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  19. Sounds like you found your path girl! Yay! The energy passion and enthusiasm is a great sign that it's right! Can't wait to watch you become a mom again! Yay for you roccie! Am rapt!

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  20. Maybe I have no idea what it takes to conceive, when time is not on your side, and when money seems to be pouring out every crevice... I am still having sex just to have sex. But you have found your undying passion, something that some never find in their lifetime. So,although this seems to have been some of the unhappiest of struggles, I am full of joy for you. I have never met such a fighter. Oddly, I miss you.

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  21. Now I'm a French teacher, not a Math teacher, but 85% sounds better to me than 25%. Just sayin'. This sounds like a definite road to WHEN. Congratulations!

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  22. You are so amazing. You know I am behind you 100% and when you are big and prego, I am flying to where you are just to rub your belly. Because it is going to be AWESOME. Screw you, 40. SO happy and excited for you!

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