I always thought those commercials, tv shows or movies that showed little boys peeing into an unsuspecting face to be stupid. Kind of a Little Rascals meets the Three Stooges humor. Not my style.
Pee-in-the-face humor reminded me of Three's Company - Mr. Roper always managed to overhear just the right part of a conversation to allow the perfect storm of misunderstanding.
No more.
That shit is real.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, peace, health, happiness and babies to everyone.
Love always,
Roccie
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Not like riding a bike, for the record
Here I am writing one handed again, but this time the other hand is putting birthday cake in my mouth, not cradling the head of Baby Jay. He was born and several days later I turned 41. Life is pretty great to me these days.
Baby Jay is tricky. I know tricky isn't the right word, but baby freak show sounds mean.
He cries when he is getting his diaper changed (most of the time). He cries when he thinks it takes me too long to pull my 23 pound breast out of its harness. And that is it.
What kind of game is he playing???
I don't understand this baby. After he eats, he sleeps. Soundly. In a bassinet. For hours. The madness. I follow his lead and breastfeed on demand, usually around every 2.5 hours, but I typically see 3-4 hour stretches at night.
What. Baby Jay is a cake walk. I am certain it will all fall apart now that I have written it, but it was fun while it lasted.
Toddlerina slept in a car seat for months. (Please note this was only after a demonstration in the pediatrician's office to ensure it was safe.) She ate almost every hour for most of the day. She never napped. I heard "wakeful baby syndrome" theories.
Breastfeeding is an ass kicker.
Holy cow, I just don't remember it being this hard. I saw blood on my sweet baby's face, had a heart attack, then realized it was coming from my nipples. Brutal, brutal pain. Brutal.
I cry out involuntarily when he latches on. It scares Toddlerina, so I need to turn the yelps into a song. I could win an Oscar cause I really just want to rip my breast off and throw it into the pond. Similac, take me away.
Want to hear my naughty, self medicating solution? I have some hyrdrocodone prescribed to me to manage the c-section pain. I take a modified dose more for my hot zone boobs than for my Frankenstein scar.
I honestly don't know that I could have survived this week breastfeeding without the meds. I am a cheat. Hats off to those Mommas who survived the grim ramping up on breastfeeding stark cold sober. Damn women, let me hear you roar.
Hope this doesn't frighten new moms or mommas in progress. Harsh reality is that breastfeeding is hard. The buy in price is huge, but if you can clear that debt, you get back a bajillion times more. I adore breastfeeding. Love it, just not the first 90 seconds on the right breast.
Much love to everyone. Always reading, just a little comment hiatus in the short term.
Baby Jay is tricky. I know tricky isn't the right word, but baby freak show sounds mean.
He cries when he is getting his diaper changed (most of the time). He cries when he thinks it takes me too long to pull my 23 pound breast out of its harness. And that is it.
What kind of game is he playing???
I don't understand this baby. After he eats, he sleeps. Soundly. In a bassinet. For hours. The madness. I follow his lead and breastfeed on demand, usually around every 2.5 hours, but I typically see 3-4 hour stretches at night.
What. Baby Jay is a cake walk. I am certain it will all fall apart now that I have written it, but it was fun while it lasted.
Toddlerina slept in a car seat for months. (Please note this was only after a demonstration in the pediatrician's office to ensure it was safe.) She ate almost every hour for most of the day. She never napped. I heard "wakeful baby syndrome" theories.
Breastfeeding is an ass kicker.
Holy cow, I just don't remember it being this hard. I saw blood on my sweet baby's face, had a heart attack, then realized it was coming from my nipples. Brutal, brutal pain. Brutal.
I cry out involuntarily when he latches on. It scares Toddlerina, so I need to turn the yelps into a song. I could win an Oscar cause I really just want to rip my breast off and throw it into the pond. Similac, take me away.
Want to hear my naughty, self medicating solution? I have some hyrdrocodone prescribed to me to manage the c-section pain. I take a modified dose more for my hot zone boobs than for my Frankenstein scar.
I honestly don't know that I could have survived this week breastfeeding without the meds. I am a cheat. Hats off to those Mommas who survived the grim ramping up on breastfeeding stark cold sober. Damn women, let me hear you roar.
Hope this doesn't frighten new moms or mommas in progress. Harsh reality is that breastfeeding is hard. The buy in price is huge, but if you can clear that debt, you get back a bajillion times more. I adore breastfeeding. Love it, just not the first 90 seconds on the right breast.
Much love to everyone. Always reading, just a little comment hiatus in the short term.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Roccie, meet Baby Jay
He is here and we are in love.
The "we" could be anyone: my family, Rocco's family; my friends or Rocco's. This whole wide world seems to be lining up to love him.
I am pretty tired and sleepless. Stare at him when I should be sleeping. Pecking out one handed posts when I should be sleeping.
I am sitting on top of the world.
The "we" could be anyone: my family, Rocco's family; my friends or Rocco's. This whole wide world seems to be lining up to love him.
I am pretty tired and sleepless. Stare at him when I should be sleeping. Pecking out one handed posts when I should be sleeping.
I am sitting on top of the world.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Roccie, meet Roccie
How about that Thanksgiving? It was great. This is the first time I have ever celebrated a holiday without my family. I have to admit, I was feeling a little sorry for myself at first. I thought it would be kind of lonely but it was perfect.
The last hurrah for the Rocco family of three. Or five if you count all those dogs.
We went to cheer Rocco on in a neighborhood Turkey Bowl. It was organized by the neighborhood mom's group. I am not sure why we went. The last mom's group meeting I went to was t-o-r-t-u-r-e. A bunch of northwest suburban moms representing the stereotype at the peak.
Rocco, Toddlerina and I arrived a little late. The games had already started and we kind of milled around, trying to figure out where we fit in. Did we? These people are a bunch of morons.
I get to talking. Everything starts coming with ease. Moms my age. Donut holes. Coffee. I even see flasks. What is not to like?
Yelling in the background. I'll be damned if Rocco didn't just score a touchdown.
I see a baby. I want to touch it. I head on over.
Some of the neighborhood kids attending the bowl are in high school. I see them video taping the mom with the young baby for their psychology class. I noticed a little late, almost walking into the frame of the shot. This is what I hear:
"...I guess I thought I would have kids in my late 20's shortly after getting married..."
She catches my eye, this mom who looks just like me, less the belly, but add a six month old in a pumpkin seat by her side.
I grab my stomach to double over and give a fake, silent Santa laugh. She laughs out loud and loses her train of thought. I don't know it yet, but I might have just met my new Very Best Friend Ever. I wander off to let the filming complete.
Suuuure we will have our babies in our late 20s. Er... make that 30s... Errr....
The video mom and her dog (sans leash) eventually come over to the swings where Toddlerina is shouting with delight. We laugh at the mom's public service message she video taped for the high school students: don't settle. Wait for love, even if it takes a while. Like, uh, an extra 20 years.
She has an incredibly well behaved dog. Key sign of an Infertile, no?
Great and easy conversation. I tell her I will give the public service message to the same girls once they reach college: news flash: believe that declining fertility chart in your gynecologist's office. Just because you are young and intend to live forever, your eggs won't.
Love fest ensues. She is 42 with a six month old. Old girl has me beat and I admire her for it.
Man, did we have a great time. Rocco had to buy a splint for his finger on the way home. I plugged in the heating pad before he asked. What a great day.
The last hurrah for the Rocco family of three. Or five if you count all those dogs.
We went to cheer Rocco on in a neighborhood Turkey Bowl. It was organized by the neighborhood mom's group. I am not sure why we went. The last mom's group meeting I went to was t-o-r-t-u-r-e. A bunch of northwest suburban moms representing the stereotype at the peak.
Rocco, Toddlerina and I arrived a little late. The games had already started and we kind of milled around, trying to figure out where we fit in. Did we? These people are a bunch of morons.
I get to talking. Everything starts coming with ease. Moms my age. Donut holes. Coffee. I even see flasks. What is not to like?
Yelling in the background. I'll be damned if Rocco didn't just score a touchdown.
I see a baby. I want to touch it. I head on over.
Some of the neighborhood kids attending the bowl are in high school. I see them video taping the mom with the young baby for their psychology class. I noticed a little late, almost walking into the frame of the shot. This is what I hear:
"...I guess I thought I would have kids in my late 20's shortly after getting married..."
She catches my eye, this mom who looks just like me, less the belly, but add a six month old in a pumpkin seat by her side.
I grab my stomach to double over and give a fake, silent Santa laugh. She laughs out loud and loses her train of thought. I don't know it yet, but I might have just met my new Very Best Friend Ever. I wander off to let the filming complete.
Suuuure we will have our babies in our late 20s. Er... make that 30s... Errr....
The video mom and her dog (sans leash) eventually come over to the swings where Toddlerina is shouting with delight. We laugh at the mom's public service message she video taped for the high school students: don't settle. Wait for love, even if it takes a while. Like, uh, an extra 20 years.
She has an incredibly well behaved dog. Key sign of an Infertile, no?
Great and easy conversation. I tell her I will give the public service message to the same girls once they reach college: news flash: believe that declining fertility chart in your gynecologist's office. Just because you are young and intend to live forever, your eggs won't.
Love fest ensues. She is 42 with a six month old. Old girl has me beat and I admire her for it.
Man, did we have a great time. Rocco had to buy a splint for his finger on the way home. I plugged in the heating pad before he asked. What a great day.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Fertiles: making me eat my words, again and again
Who are these Fertiles - showing care and compassion on a grand scale? My local Fertiles really showed their true colors last night.
I saw email chains flying around setting up dinners for my family once the baby arrives. Do I have any preferences, aversions, dietary restrictions? What about Toddlerina? What does she eat? Would I like to consider a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule to stretch it out - everyone will make large meals to allow for leftovers.
Who are these people? How do these Fertiles have the hearts of an IF veteran? I guess babies can bring out the best in everyone.
I got a call from another neighbor. Her daughter is our occasional sitter. She has a chronic illness that can keep her out of school for weeks at a time. It is not life threatening and she is expected to outgrow it. Her daughter recently had a bout with it and is on the mend.
She had made something for the baby at school. Wouldn't I come down and get it?
I head out the door - half in clothes, half in jammies (it was 730pm after all). I am wearing The Nighttime Bra, the one without the flying buttresses.
Low riders and jammies, I walk into a surprise neighborhood baby shower.
It was great. Everyone swapping stories, trying to scare the new Momma to be then telling tear jerker tales of motherhood.
I would give anything in the world to have everyone here beside me, battle over and war won. Every day I offer up my own thanks, then your names are right behind - asking to take you along too.
It looks dippy in print, but I wanted you to know.
I saw email chains flying around setting up dinners for my family once the baby arrives. Do I have any preferences, aversions, dietary restrictions? What about Toddlerina? What does she eat? Would I like to consider a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule to stretch it out - everyone will make large meals to allow for leftovers.
Who are these people? How do these Fertiles have the hearts of an IF veteran? I guess babies can bring out the best in everyone.
I got a call from another neighbor. Her daughter is our occasional sitter. She has a chronic illness that can keep her out of school for weeks at a time. It is not life threatening and she is expected to outgrow it. Her daughter recently had a bout with it and is on the mend.
She had made something for the baby at school. Wouldn't I come down and get it?
I head out the door - half in clothes, half in jammies (it was 730pm after all). I am wearing The Nighttime Bra, the one without the flying buttresses.
Low riders and jammies, I walk into a surprise neighborhood baby shower.
It was great. Everyone swapping stories, trying to scare the new Momma to be then telling tear jerker tales of motherhood.
I would give anything in the world to have everyone here beside me, battle over and war won. Every day I offer up my own thanks, then your names are right behind - asking to take you along too.
It looks dippy in print, but I wanted you to know.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Closed for Business
Reporting to you LIVE from a Mother In Law Free Zone: Roccie of The Roccie Road.
She is gone now. Sweet rejoicing begin, my house is now my home again.
Rocco took MIL to the airport on Saturday. The three month long occupancy has ended.
The rest of the day I noticed Rocco paying a lot of extra attention to me. My water glass was always topped off and I didn't have to let the dogs in and out. A lot of little things, you know? He made me a nice dinner to boot.
That night, when we crawled into bed, he went to hold my hand. Oh no, Rocco. First of all, it is hard to read with only one hand and second of all, more importantly, nuh-uh, no way, this park is closed for business.
Business Time is over. I am over 37 weeks pregnant, sir.
Please Rocco, I am pulling an extra 30 pounds and while my sex drive may by up, it sure doesn't mean I want to act on it with you. Ahem.
I broke it to him gently and he laughed. I think he laughed at the idea of actually coupling with me, but it IS so preposterous I laughed too.
Rocco wasn't looking for love, but told me he was feeling really connected with me. That he realized just how hard it must have been to live with his mother. He wanted me to know how much he appreciated my sacrifice.
What a good, good man.
I ate 2 Tums, rolled over and went to sleep with a giant smile on my face.
She is gone now. Sweet rejoicing begin, my house is now my home again.
Rocco took MIL to the airport on Saturday. The three month long occupancy has ended.
The rest of the day I noticed Rocco paying a lot of extra attention to me. My water glass was always topped off and I didn't have to let the dogs in and out. A lot of little things, you know? He made me a nice dinner to boot.
That night, when we crawled into bed, he went to hold my hand. Oh no, Rocco. First of all, it is hard to read with only one hand and second of all, more importantly, nuh-uh, no way, this park is closed for business.
Business Time is over. I am over 37 weeks pregnant, sir.
Please Rocco, I am pulling an extra 30 pounds and while my sex drive may by up, it sure doesn't mean I want to act on it with you. Ahem.
I broke it to him gently and he laughed. I think he laughed at the idea of actually coupling with me, but it IS so preposterous I laughed too.
Rocco wasn't looking for love, but told me he was feeling really connected with me. That he realized just how hard it must have been to live with his mother. He wanted me to know how much he appreciated my sacrifice.
What a good, good man.
I ate 2 Tums, rolled over and went to sleep with a giant smile on my face.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Why were DE so easy for me?
How is that for a sensationalist title?
Anyone who has been around here knows that title is kind of a load of crap, but true at the same time. I freaked the fuck out when I faced donor eggs, but once I committed, I was in and rarely looked back.
Did I always know I would choose this option to continue my family? Maybe. DE were raised at my first WTF appointment after our 1st IVF cycle was a bust. Was I always a little terrified of my own body? Absolutely. Losing my first pregnancy to severe genetic anomalies wrecked me.
This shirt was given to Toddlerina by well meaning family members (might I clarify his family, ahem).
I hated it the moment I saw it.
I found it again as I pull out Toddlerina's infant wear to use as hand me downs for this DE baby. I only put it on Toddlerina one time. It put me in a foul mood all day long. You know that feeling where you just cannot settle - the feeling usually reserved when you are personally wearing something crappy - too tight, too sheer or way too last year.
I hated that damn shirt.
I don't think hate is too strong a word. It got me all riled up. No, it is not hard to get me going, but this shirt was so damn presumptuous.
Why the fits, Roccie? Is Toddlerina not created by that very fraction - one half you and one half Rocco?
Maybe I always knew I was coming this way, the way of family by donor egg.
I see a lot of folks out there in the middle of or considering their own DE dance and man, oh man, do I wish I could help you digest it all. I try my best to support you by telling you how much I love my DE decision, but I felt I owed you this little bit of truth. Maybe it was easier for me. If your decision isn't as clear cut as mine felt, give it time.
I sit here at term today, 37 weeks. I have one baby by me and one baby via gift egg. I hope it gives me a unique perspective to share with you. I am just so overcome with joy that my family will grow. I hope you can find your path to your family no matter what it takes.
Anyone who has been around here knows that title is kind of a load of crap, but true at the same time. I freaked the fuck out when I faced donor eggs, but once I committed, I was in and rarely looked back.
Did I always know I would choose this option to continue my family? Maybe. DE were raised at my first WTF appointment after our 1st IVF cycle was a bust. Was I always a little terrified of my own body? Absolutely. Losing my first pregnancy to severe genetic anomalies wrecked me.
This shirt was given to Toddlerina by well meaning family members (might I clarify his family, ahem).
I hated it the moment I saw it.
I found it again as I pull out Toddlerina's infant wear to use as hand me downs for this DE baby. I only put it on Toddlerina one time. It put me in a foul mood all day long. You know that feeling where you just cannot settle - the feeling usually reserved when you are personally wearing something crappy - too tight, too sheer or way too last year.
I hated that damn shirt.
I don't think hate is too strong a word. It got me all riled up. No, it is not hard to get me going, but this shirt was so damn presumptuous.
Why the fits, Roccie? Is Toddlerina not created by that very fraction - one half you and one half Rocco?
Maybe I always knew I was coming this way, the way of family by donor egg.
I see a lot of folks out there in the middle of or considering their own DE dance and man, oh man, do I wish I could help you digest it all. I try my best to support you by telling you how much I love my DE decision, but I felt I owed you this little bit of truth. Maybe it was easier for me. If your decision isn't as clear cut as mine felt, give it time.
I sit here at term today, 37 weeks. I have one baby by me and one baby via gift egg. I hope it gives me a unique perspective to share with you. I am just so overcome with joy that my family will grow. I hope you can find your path to your family no matter what it takes.
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