And then the place was crawling with kids

Thinking of any readers who ache to call the goblin at the front door tonight their own.

Pulling for our adoptive families in process and in wait.

Pulling for our pregnant families who watch the toilet paper like their own personal Halloween horror show.

Thinking of families who are complete, but working to pull it all together the way they want it and the way it should be.

Someone bought my latte in line before me today at the S'bucks.  I play my good deed forward to all of you.

Happy Halloween and Happy Family Management.

Much love, 

Roccie
(Who clearly will be doing her hair more frequently in pursuit of more free drinks.)

Request a refund for my donor egg worry

The scene was a play date.  It came up and I was telling it before I knew it. 

Easy.  The Donor Egg Reveal.

Other play date Momma asked some good questions.  We are close enough she could even ask the Springer style ones.  I laughed and remembered thinking that part was strange too.  Hard to remember how it is the first time you hear it all.

We had to leave early.  Leah hit Momma and that is a no no.  Not to mention really embarrassing.  Sigh.

I got a text from my Momma friend later with the last line thanking me for sharing my story about Jay.  Told me he is one special guy.

If I could get back a FRACTION of the energy I spent worrying my way through donor eggs.... ah, the wisdom we all acquire just a few minutes too late.

She is not one of us

Hate to be all Us and Them, but she isn't on the inside, well the DE inside anyhow.

I had my first appointment with the therapist after her maternity leave.  Comments about her baby's blue eyes underlined with both she and her husband have blue eyes.  Hmm.  There goes donor theory.

Then she says they want another.  I wait for reference for the number on ice, but she says she "wants to rescue a child from the planet" and adopt her next child.

What the fuck does that mean.

Mommas, can you weigh in and help me digest this one?  I can't tell if I am happy for her optimism or if she is a dick who has no idea what adoption can mean.

Your thoughts?

A wingspan unbelievable

Click here for my new theme song.  Don't worry, you can skip the add in 3 seconds.

Started working on the profile to find a new home for our embryos.

I carry the dollhouse, safe on my shoulders
Through the black city, night lights are on in the corners
And everyone's sleeping upstairs
All safe and sound

 

And we'll all float on okay

Note: this post is purely self indulgent and I cannot imagine anyone finding it interesting unless you are in my shoes or your initials are CS.

My Jaybird is feeling better today.  Roseola.  (Several days of a very high fever followed by spots that cause no discomfort.)

Fool that I am, I thought I was back on the exclusive breastfeeding train.  How wrong I was.  But, I don't feel so down about it this time, in fact, it makes me laugh.  Gives me insight to the little man Jay will become some day.

Bottles were wasted for four glorious days in my house.  The Prince would have nothing to do with them.  I ruled this house with a kind and generous hand.  My reign of his crib was a short, peaceful, glorious time.

Today was different.  

Happy morning; I saw Jay-smiles and Jay-bouncing.  I saw him Leah-chasing and dog-chasing.  

I would leap at his command for milk.  He would nurse for..... 2 minutes.

Play.

Crawl up and ask me.  Nurse for one minute.

Play.

Crawl up and ask me.  Nurse for one minute.  

This went on for 8-9 times.  Then he was at my feet crying Mammammmmmaammmaa.  I tried to nurse one more time, then said the dreaded word he had clearly forgotten:  "ba ba, ba ba" and fetched it for him.  He drained it with laser focus.

At bedtime, I nursed him on both sides.  He quickly frustrated with my left (the lame mastitis breast) and moved to my right.  He drank happily for a bit... then started to beat it with his tiny, fat fist.

I looked deeply into his eyes and said the word that used to feel like poison on my lips: "ba ba".  He bounced and repeated it back to me: "BA BA, BA BA"!

He drank half the bottle, then batted it away.  He asked for Momma again and quickly fell asleep at the breast.

Tears, but the good kind this time.

Sometimes I love him so much I cannot even see straight.

Good news for people who love bad news

Jaybird has a fever of over 102.

Guess who smacks away the bottle with his fat princely hand?

Guess who only wants Momma and her low hanging fruit?

Busting out the nursing liners for my leaks,
Loving the sweet outcome of his suffering,
The Most Selfish Mom in the World,
Your Friend,
The Milk Master,

Roccie

Forgiveness

Dear God, please forgive Leah, for today I plucked two (2) gray eyebrow hairs from my sweet, overworked head.

Amen.