Thursday, February 23, 2012

What are you mad about this time Roccie?

I am sure there are great blog posts out there about this subject.  In fact, I sent a request to Peggy Orenstein, author of Cinderalla Ate My Daughter, to prompt her on it.  I know authors of her caliber don't have time to respond to every question, but let's hope.

In the mean time, here are my most recent rants.

What kind of message are we sending our sons?  How are we teaching them to perceive and treat women?

I am painfully aware of the crap we sling at our daughters.  Remember the "Too Pretty to Do My Homework" bullshit?  The ever present princess.  The diva-as-desirable.  Remember when diva meant asshole?

The pink.  Have mercy on me, the incessant pink.  It is familiar territory where I quickly get riled up.  Now I have the exposure to what we give our precious corn fed sons.

Shirts that read "Lock Up Your Daughters" or "Heartbreaker".

I saw a couple holiday themed ones.  I can only assume it is for Easter as it has a bunch of little yellow baby chickens on it and reads: "Chicks are all over me".  This one is countered with the cougar-centric "Older Chicks Dig Me".

Have I totally lost my sense of humor.


  1. Nah. I find it similarly annoying. We inherited a bunch of things when O was born and I had to discard the "Chick Magnet" stuff. And it was somewhat difficult because I'm, well, cheap. I'm not sure why people think it's funny. But maybe my irony software is broken?

    (Then again, even "Baby Einstein" drives me nuts.)

  2. No, you haven't. It's as insidious as the princess stuff. Maybe even more so..."lock up your daughters"?! I mean, the implication is what--rape? Gross, really.

  3. I'll admit that the way our culture treats women, starting when they are little girls, is one reason I am really, really glad we only had boys. Having been an advocate for girls in foster care for the past nine years, I've often had occasion to think about the negative messages these types of things send.

  4. Giiiiirl. You preach.

    I have to admit, I did put Jackson in a Valentine's t-shirt that read "Heartbreaker" to send him to school in. However, the most frequent targets of his affection at school are two boys who all love to hug and kiss each other. So I feel somehow vindicated (I guess) by the balance of these social forces.

    But yes, the genderization of clothes, toys (Lego! WTF?), and every other social cue is brutal and asshatted.

  5. I'll admit N has worn a "chick magnet" shirt. I do NOT like "lock up your daughters" at all.

    I will say I think a LOT differently about boy stuff now that I have a boy who is incredibly emotional and sensitive and after listening to Brene Brown (check her out - amazing) talk about her interaction with a man at one of her events who told her that all this stuff about vulnerability was great except that women don't want men who are vulnerable. He said, "My wife and daughter? They'd rather I die on that white horse than fall off of it."

    These messages start young. And it's wrong.

  6. Oh man. If the chicks were cute I'd totally get a "chicks are all over me" t for Bun Bun. But for reals, it's all so yucky. And so ubiquitous that there's little hope of really avoiding these messages working their way into little heads, but we can all at least do our best.

  7. As some one who received such onsies as gifts (I couldn't buy them for myself) they are comical and are only worn for a photo op...I think I even put one of them on the ole blog. But yeah...I totally know what you mean. I've only let LN10 wear one of those onsies ONE time...but dang it was funny!

  8. Ugh, I abhor that shit. I want no part of it. No, you have not lost your sense of humor.

  9. 'Our precious corn fed sons' I drink your every word, Roccie. You are such a colourful, beautiful, hilarious writer. And I especially like it when you are full of ire. And let me join you on this topic. I think children are exposed MUCH too early to sexualized content. And this is not in their best interest. There will be time for sex later; go play with your legos now.

    There was a show on this topic yesterday on the radio, so I've pasted the link below in case you want to listen or read.

  10. You have not lost your sense of humor. You have a sense of what should be right in this world. I feel like those sentiments are detrimental to how I'd like to raise my children!

  11. At least you are seeing SOMETHING for boys. I'm getting totally PO'd at my locals stores. HUGE racks of pink frilly easter dresses and nothing for boys. Unless you want a dark blue suit or a tshirt that says chicks dig me.


    I rely on Easter to finally pick up some dapper cloths for my boy.

    My boy who likes pink and just had a Princess Themed birthday party. He is especially loving the pink Cinderella duplos. CInderella is now the mommy and Buzzlightyear is the daddy...

  12. Oh I hear you. I hate the sexualisation of children's clothes. I spit on it.

    My problem is same same but different. I go shopping for practical BABY clothes for my Baby daughter and find myself disgusted and dismayed. At least boy's clothes are generally practical. And see here I thought stupidly that we had stopped bounding our daughters long ago. Apparently not. Size 1 sleeves stuck to the seam of the top. Oh yeah. Crawl Lola crawl!! My active girl who loves exploring lives in shorts and anything else that provides Her with freedom. But sadly some are sacrificing freedom for pretty and sexy. Size 1!! . Shame on us. Shame.