Thursday, April 5, 2012

No one left when they came for me

When did my blog get all holy?

I am finding it harder and harder to keep the church out of my business.

I am in the early stages of collecting agency names to donate our remaining embryos.  I have a handful of criteria.  I want to be able to influence the recipient family based on open adoption terms and consideration of same sex couples.

Aaaaaand: cue the holy rollers.

These sites are riddled with religion.  Seems they care more about "Non Christians Need Not Apply" than anything else.  Some sites boast of being "Religion - neutral".  But it is still there in my face: religion.


But wait.  Wasn't I just posting it up about me and my new BFF the Catholic Church?  Yeah, but sometimes I wonder what I am doing.  You know how bad Dr. Google is when you are symptom tracking?  Let me tell you it is just as bad when you go looking for more Catholics like me.  All I can find are a bunch of narrow minded jackmongers who are Catholic and spouting anti IVF. 

I don't have a bend to chose same sex couple.  Since we are not one, I assume it might be less likely we would choose one, but I don't want that decision made for me.

I think I might be painting myself into a corner.  Looking for a fight.  I sent emails to all the agencies I could find with a polite one liner email: do you allow adoptions by same sex couples?  The responses are telling.

Everyone assumed I was gay.  Some agencies were respectful and encouraged me to consider another agency.  One ignored my emails.  Multiple emails.  Funny, the response I got from that same agency when I told them I was holding, not buying.

I am tabulating it all and will publish my results.  It seems like the way to avoid the issue is to put a Married Couples Only sign on the door.  What bullshit.

How I wish I was not so combative.  I cannot tell you how much I want to garb my babies in THATS RIGHT I AM A PRODUCT OF IVF GET OVER YOUR HOLY SELF.

On Easter.

I just don't know how my priest had the right to go so very against the grain.


  1. That's some tricky business. I tell you it isn't the religion as much as it is the people who use that as a shield and sledgehammer. I would do exactly the same thing and I can't wait to see how they shake out.

  2. That is lame. My best friend and I spend a lot of time together. Her son is a year older than G. So they play ALL the time. People ALWAYS think we are a couple. I just let them. Surprisingly people are always nice which is interesting since I live in a very religious state. When I had Parker, she stayed one night when R couldn't even then two or three people thought we were a couple ha ha.

  3. Good for you putting them up for adoption, what an incredible way to share your gift. I'm sorry that the only agencies you are finding are so narrow minded. I know you will figure out a good way to get them to the right home.

  4. Have you considered not using an agency and finding a recipient yourself? Check out My embryo donor found me through LFCA! BTW, I think Paige would be an awesome choice. Love the idea of keeping them within the ALI blogosphere family.

  5. What is wrong with people? Seriously. I would like to know. Good gravy. And these people call themselves Christians, don't they? Crossing themselves every Sunday, wagging their fingers at everyone else the rest of the week. Denying people the chance to become parents, not to mention denying embryos the chance to become children (and aren't the embryos supposed to be the important thing?) doesn't sound like loving thy neighbor to me. But there is this, if you don't mind my linking. It really made my day when I read it:

  6. I am wondering the same thing come a year from now. as per usu, i'll be following your footsteps.

  7. You're right. It IS bullshit. Utter bullshit. This is where supposed religion (though, I see nothing moral about this narrow-mindedness...and religion always claims the moral high ground for itself) annoys the crap out of me.

  8. We were matched with our donor family through miracleswaiting. You should check out that site, you basically get to choose the donor family yourself and work together to come up with the specifics of your arrangement. They have all different types of families both donor and recipient and are not religiously based at all.

  9. You should reach out to your fertility doctor as you know and trust him/her the most. My guess is that he/she could help you through this and might be able to direct the donation to another couple that he/she takes care of. What a wonderful gift and you are an amazing person for helping another couple that way.

  10. I would turn gay to have those embryos.

    Wait. That's not what your getting at is it.

    Good luck. I don't know why things that seem like common sense and common decency become such issues when you involve the most holy peoples.