Monday, July 16, 2012

What is our secret handshake?

I like to pretend it is like spring training for an athlete, or a tune up for a fancy car, but the fact is I am back on the juice and started seeing a therapist.

What are the key sources of marital strife?  Money and children.  What if you have no money because you wanted to have children?  What a rip off.  I swear I think they act like amplifiers to each other.

I do not doubt in my marriage, but we need a professional to help us process The Family Discipline Plan.

I made over half a dozen calls before I found the right person.  We had our first session last week.  Rocco and I both thought it went really well.

I couldn't bring myself to look at her tummy.  You know where this is going, right?

She had on a maxi dress.  The world's most unflattering dress unless you are a stick or PREGNANT.  I was scared to get caught checking her out.  Plus, she is about my age if I had to guess.

Think she is one of us?  What if I found another mother in the donor egg game?


  1. couples' counselling can do wonders. Thinking that it is also where we're heading after the roller coaster comes to a complete stop. I'm really glad that you've chose to take this step for yourself and your marriage. And golly, does IF ever put a lot of strain on a marriage.

    Very interesting about your pregnant therapist. Perhaps it will come out. Just watch her reaction closely when you talk about how Jay bird was conceived.

  2. I love that marriage counseling/therapy is becoming so much less of a scary thing. My husband and I have done lots of it. :) It's like maintenance on a vehicle, you wouldn't drive around on a flat tire, right? (not that I'm trying to sell you on it - you get it)

    Anyhoo, Good for you guys. I hope you found the right person to help you.

    And yes, I'm thinking she's "one of us".

  3. My only trepidation with couples therapy is where the hell will we find the time? Time is one of our most precious and limited and absolutely scarce resources and the cause of so many grumbling arguments (who does what share of work, and when, and how). But I feel like counseling is gonna have to happen for us, too, with numero dos on the way 'cause even just being pregnant and managing my erstwhile life is torture some days and my inner raging bitch comes right on out. It's not like it will get easier, amirite?

  4. There is trudging to hell and back and then there is IF, surviving comes with civilian casualties. Marriages are the front lines, you are in it together, but when out return to daily life, you find that little picture problems are a big deal when you have defeated the enemy. (clearly I am running amok with this metaphor)

    I hate the maxi dress preggo outfit, but would love to see a professional slip into serious empathy. Very wonderful peaceful thought as you two navigate life after battle.

  5. Wishing you all the strength and success you both so soooo deserve Roccie!

  6. I'm glad the session went well. I'm a firm believer that it's always better to talk it out. And a neutral third party who is also a professional? Very, very smart.

    And, yes, to the amplifiers thing:(

  7. *hangs head in shame for wearing maxi dresses* I applaud you for bringing in the professionals! I hope that if she is indeed pregnant, and I suppose it will become clear soon enough, it doesn't interfere with the sessions. You'll probably never know if she is one of you/us, so if it makes you feel more comfortable, just assume she is!

  8. Marriage counseling saved my marriage. Period. IF does a number on us. Brava!