Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Not like riding a bike, for the record

Here I am writing one handed again, but this time the other hand is putting birthday cake in my mouth, not cradling the head of Baby Jay.  He was born and several days later I turned 41.  Life is pretty great to me these days.

Baby Jay is tricky.  I know tricky isn't the right word, but baby freak show sounds mean.

He cries when he is getting his diaper changed (most of the time).  He cries when he thinks it takes me too long to pull my 23 pound breast out of its harness.  And that is it.  

What kind of game is he playing???  

I don't understand this baby.  After he eats, he sleeps.  Soundly.  In a bassinet.  For hours.  The madness.  I follow his lead and breastfeed on demand, usually around every 2.5 hours, but I typically see 3-4 hour stretches at night.

What.  Baby Jay is a cake walk.  I am certain it will all fall apart now that I have written it, but it was fun while it lasted.

Toddlerina slept in a car seat for months.  (Please note this was only after a demonstration in the pediatrician's office to ensure it was safe.)  She ate almost every hour for most of the day.  She never napped.  I heard "wakeful baby syndrome" theories.

Breastfeeding is an ass kicker.

Holy cow, I just don't remember it being this hard.  I saw blood on my sweet baby's face, had a heart attack, then realized it was coming from my nipples.  Brutal, brutal pain.  Brutal.

I cry out involuntarily when he latches on.  It scares Toddlerina, so I need to turn the yelps into a song.  I could win an Oscar cause I really just want to rip my breast off and throw it into the pond.  Similac, take me away.

Want to hear my naughty, self medicating solution?  I have some hyrdrocodone prescribed to me to manage the c-section pain.  I take a modified dose more for my hot zone boobs than for my Frankenstein scar.

I honestly don't know that I could have survived this week breastfeeding without the meds.  I am a cheat.  Hats off to those Mommas who survived the grim ramping up on breastfeeding stark cold sober.  Damn women, let me hear you roar.

Hope this doesn't frighten new moms or mommas in progress.  Harsh reality is that breastfeeding is hard.  The buy in price is huge, but if you can clear that debt, you get back a bajillion times more.  I adore breastfeeding.  Love it, just not the first 90 seconds on the right breast.

Much love to everyone.  Always reading, just a little comment hiatus in the short term.


  1. I'm sorry breastfeeding is so hard. You did scare me because if big, tough Roccie thinks it's hard it probably feels like getting hit by a semi truck. But I'm very happy that you have an easy baby, at least for now. Much love to you and your new man.

  2. Breastfeeding IS hard. Nobody wants to tell you that. It took two weeks or so for the OMG OW pain to stop, and some of that is figuring out if he is latching wide enough.

    Shhhhh, don't tell anyone some babies actually sleep!

    I'm so glad he's settling in and you're enjoying new mommahood (again). Love you.

  3. Holy shit, you make me laugh out loud.

    Happy Birthday, momma! What a blessed birthday present. A mellow baby to boot, you are one lucky girl.

    And yes, you are scaring the shit out of me but I wouldn't have it any other way.

  4. Are you using lanolin? Tiny Boy also made me bleed, which was not the case with LG. Got much better when he learned to latch properly and now it's no problem. And, FWIW, my breast pain easily eclipsed c-section incision pain by about day 4...

  5. Oh, look at that screamy little face. Love it.

    It sounds like your Toddlerina and my Jackson are soul mates on the napping/feeding front. For months early in J's life I thought I wold lose my mind, and then *poof* I think I did somewhere along the way. So now I'm crazy but more relaxed. Also, he naps now (better at home than at school -- suck it, suckas!) and occasionally sees fit to sleep all night long. Still, it makes me wonder how I, having lost my mind, could/will ever manage a second one. I am watching you closely. You and Baby Jay are my test subjects. Tell all, please.

    And happy birthday to you, spring chicken!

  6. look at that adorable baby.

    yep bf-ing is definitely challenging at the beginning. i remember white-knuckling the glider as my dh latched my son on. that pain can be intense. after 6 wks and some advil, it was much more manageable. :)

  7. What a cutie pie! I love that picture I think all the mommies that had c-sections have that same picture. Good for you on the Bfing (I went over to the Simlac dark side after no latching and 6 months of pumping)

  8. Glad baby Jay is a great sleeper! Sorry about the nipple pain...hope it will get better soon.

  9. What a great photograph, Roccie:) And the breastfeeding thing, I've heard that from many other second-time mothers. The learning curve is still steep. But it sounds like Baby Jay is doing wonderfully (and so is his mama). I'm so glad.

  10. Ugh, WHY is it that no one tells you how painful bf'ing is in the beginning? "if it hurts, you're doing it wrong" my ass! It is much better now at 10 weeks. No pain, but of course I'm also feeding formula. So glad you've got a great sleeper! And happy birthday! Isn't 41 great? ;-)

  11. If you ever listen to me let this be the time. Read this. It has a diagram!!!! The latch is so important. http://www.breastfeedingonline.com/whenlatchingpdf.pdf

    Here is alink to a bunch more handouts that are kinda my bf bible. http://www.breastfeedingonline.com/newman.shtml

  12. Beautiful picture. Hoping the breastfeeding gets easier for you...it sounds really painful right now.

  13. I simply must get online more. The picture speaks a thousand, no wait, a gajillion words. He is so precious and so are you. His momma. I am so proud of you ... all you have endured to bring sweet Baby Jay home. You are an amazing woman Roccie and Baby Jay is one lucky little man. Enjoy every sweet moment! xoxo

  14. Dude. Talk to me about the bf pain. Half of my job is lactation counseling and treating babies with latch issues. Let's text on the morrow I hate to see a pretty nipple suffer!!

  15. What a precious little BEBBEH! I'm glad you've got the sweet version of the baby freak show...er...I mean, tricky. You've earned it! And I'm so sorry about the breastfeeding agony. You may recall I did some suffering myself, but there's loads of advice already here, so I won't bother you with more.

    Except I can't resist saying my doc prescribed a topical antibiotic for the bleeding fissures in my nipples. Good times.

    I hope it fixes itself STAT, and that everything else continues to be awesome.

  16. P still gets annoyed when it takes me extra long to get my twentyEIGHT pound breasts out for nursing :o) indeed, you sound like you have a strange baby there!! strange, in a totally AweSOME, how did you land a babywhosleepsforhours kind of way :o) i'm bummed to hear that breastfeeding the second time around isn't easier. i was hoping that my ineptitude and confusion this time around was what made it so painful but looks like it will happen again, should there be another behbeh. i hope you are sleeping when babyjay sleeps as well?? big hugs to you all :o) xoxo.

  17. So glad to hear baby jay is being so wonderful to his Momma, with the exception of course of the BF'ing. You should definitely talk to your doctor about prescribing some medicated nipple cream, my doctor gave me some while still in the hospital for future use...a must have for BF'ing mommas! Hope it gets better! So good to hear from you!

  18. I hope the sleep stays good and the BFing gets better!

    And I know he's crying in the pic, but it still somehow looks like an all-out joyful laughfest to me.

  19. Holy crap that's a cute little baby. Even screaming he looks adorable! :) Congrats and happy belated b-day!!

  20. Happy Birthday! Such an amazing gift you've been given, too!

    What kind of game is he playing? Lol. I thought that about having Jack after the big boys. The experience was so different, it still boggles my mind. In a good way. :-)

  21. Nice!!! So glad to read that Baby Jay is such a good baby! You deserve to be spoiled!!