Big developments on this end. It seems we might have a match for a recipient family. I wasn't looking yet, but maybe it came looking for me.
Do I believe things happen for a reason? Sometimes. But the phrase makes me want to scratch the speaker's eyes out. Can I scratch out my own eyes?
There is one big factor I hadn't really considered yet. Jay. How will he feel about it all? It has really thrown me for a loop. When the embryo adoption plan was formed Jay was more of an idea than a person. Now he is a give/take real live person. Shouldn't the impact it could have on him be considered? Same for Toddlerina. Hell, hers is even more complicated.
It also sounds ridiculous. Poor, poor you if the biggest problem you face in your young adult life is accepting full or partial brothers and sisters exist out there in the big world. Life can throw much more gruesome problems your way.
But I initiated this so called problem.
But why did I do it?
I have to admit for me, there is nothing noble about donating embryos. I am glad the recipient family benefits. Of course I am. But I am not donating to help them. I am doing this for my embryos. I am doing this for my unborn children.
Are those the right words? I consider them my children. I guess I have no blood relation to them. You could challenge me and say they are not my children. But they are.
So how can I let someone else raise my children?
If the other family doesn't raise them... they won't get raised. They won't get to be here and live and breathe and be happy and sad and joyful and all the pairs of opposites you can think of.
My head is exploding.