Monday, June 25, 2012

The children we were supposed to have

I haven't forgotten them.  I haven't forgotten yours.  

She is always there in the back of my mind but sometimes she comes front and center to everything else.

It doesn't hurt anymore but it is a strange, slightly empty feeling.  Uneasy isn't the right word because I like to remember her, most of the story anyhow.

We went to a fundraiser benefiting parents in pursuit of children.  Some parents go on to IVF and some to adopt, using the grant money raised in the name of Virginia.  

Many foundations and grants originate in a tragic loss.  Virginia's parents went through fertility treatments and had a beautiful daughter.  It isn't my story to tell, but Virginia died in a horrible accident before she was one.

I met Virginia's parents and had an instant connection.  You know how it can be.  They are strong and healing as best they can.  The fundraiser was a huge success, the best one to date.  The weather was beautiful and Virginia's mom said, "Of course it is.  Virginia arranged it."  And I believe her.

Virginia's dad is great with kids.  He is a wonderful father.  I really enjoyed the special attention he shared with Toddlerina.  It broke my heart.  I cried for him when I went to feed Jay off in the shade.  Virginia's dad kept a loving, close eye on my Toddlerina.

Rocco was saying what an energetic host he was, always playing with the kids.  Rocco noted that he played with Toddlerina a lot.

Of course he did.  She is the same age that Virginia would have been if she could have stayed with us. 


Thank you so much for asking where you can make a donation Kerrie.  I wish I could find your contact information to thank you personally.

I thought about putting a link to the fundraising site here.  I hesitated and didn't do it.  I feared I might violate the privacy of the family in telling a story about their race day and especially, their precious daughter.

I changed the names in order to give a little space for the family.  The daughter's name is Savannah, not Virginia.  I feared they may find this post in a random search and feel betrayed by me voicing my experiences of Savannah's day.

I thought about it long and hard.  I think it makes sense to share the real information in order to enable a donation in Savannah's name.  Should the family find this post and if it hurts them, I will take it down immediately.

I knew Savannah's dad was thinking about Savannah when he looked at my Toddlerina.  I lost a friendship with a girlfriend who was pregnant the same time as me my first pregnancy.  My first daughter was stillborn, hers is now 5.  It wasn't a dramatic breakup, but I allowed myself to drift away.  It hurts way too much to see her.  My friend understands and has never asked about it.  I suppose that means she is still a good friend, isn't she?

Thanks so much for being here with me.  I am so grateful for your support.

This is the fund in Savannah's name.

This is the foundation that manages Savannah's fund.



  1. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

  2. The children we are supposed to have...I think about them, too.

    What a great benefit. I'm glad it was a success. I hope Virginia's family will be able to use some of the proceeds to help them when/if they are ready.


    P.S. love the shirts !!!

  3. BEAUTIFUL children! Glad you are well.

  4. Love the shirts! Your babies are beautiful & look so happy :)

  5. Virginia's family sound amazing, what a wonderful foundation! So glad to hear they had a successful turnout. It takes incredible courage to want to help others in such a beautiful way following such horrific loss.
    Love the shirts & what beautiful children you have!

  6. I'd love to donate to Virginia's foundation. Is there an online site we could use?

  7. Oh the tears that this brought on. My heart hurts for Virginia's parents and I am touched by this fundraiser. So much love for these missing children for all of us.

  8. OHHH!!!! So awesome!! Those t-shirts and the kids in 'em are ADORABLE!!!! And you look great!!!

  9. What a heartbreaking story. This couple is amazing to still be standing after what they have been through.
    I like how you relate it to all of our babies lost. In this community, we can all relate to their pain.

    And wow! those pictures of you and your children are amazingly beautiful. Thanks for sharing them with us.