Why don't you just ask me to explain the universe. Hardest question ever.
What kind of relationship do you expect to have with the recipient family?
We want open, but just how open is a tough one to define.
Do I want to meet the family prior to donation? I don't know. I have some hang ups about this. I never met our egg donor even though we had the option. I know I am a brutal critic. I know I will see things that are not wrong, but since they don't match my mind's expectation, will I see them as faults? I will create problems that are not real.
My donor didn't ask to meet us before donating. What if she had? Would we have passed? Would she roll over in her proverbial grave if she read this blog? Let's face it, I don't come across as an easy going Momma who runs a smooth ship. I have some baggage and I create more where I see fit.
Was my egg donor more established in her resolve to donate? Is that why she didn't require to meet us prior to donation? Does she separate herself from it all easier than I do?
Many donors required an amendment to the contract that mandated any remaining embryos not used by the original donor egg couple would be destroyed. Harsh word. Wonder why I picked that one. Anyhow, many donors request that embryos not transferred are not passed on to another family.
I admit, there was some appeal in those types of donors. We would never face this next step since it was all decided for us. At the time, we did not limit our evaluation of potential donors to allow only those who gave us full control over the embryos. God, fate and destiny set me up with a donor who allowed us to determine the future of our remaining embryos. If I had to do it all over again, I would want an egg donor who gave us control over the future of the embryos.
I think I would crumble seeing my Jaybird and know there was nothing I could do for the embryos. I am grateful not to face that problem even though this is a tough process for us.
In lighter news, Jay recently discovered his penis. Oh, how he loves it.