Thursday, November 7, 2013

Tomorrow, we ride.

Out of context?  Maybe.

Self indulgent post.

I have been curbing my thoughts on tomorrow's doctor appointment for weeks.  Fucking WEEKS.  Today has been a little harder.

Dumping a little free form, free skate here to try to shake the Boogey Man off my tail.

I think my belly is too small.  Shouldn't it be bigger by now.  Harder.

Maybe I am not peeing with quite the urgency I once enjoyed throughout the night.

Why don't I throw up any longer.

My personal list of how to tell you are no longer pregnant.  Damn.  Now that will bring likeminded suffering mommas to this site and all they will find is my ramble.  Damn you search engine.  You need a "quality filter".

Even when I am pregnant like a Fertile (carrying a primitive, sex-made baby), I cannot relax and enjoy the ride like a Fertile.


  1. Praying for you to be filled with inexplicable peace between now and tomorrow's appointment.

  2. Here's to you, primitive fertile one.

    I found myself ALWAYS doubting it, right up to the end. Damn infertility scars!

  3. Just catching up...WOW. I was in your exact shoes with LMI - it is totally surreal to get knocked up the free way. I know you are scared, and doubting but hopefully tomorrow will be great.

  4. Of course you're scared, dear Roccie. But you will somehow gather yourself up and make it to your appointment tomorrow.
    I really hope all is well. My thoughts will be with you, and I'll be looking for some good news from your corner of the blogosphere.

  5. I can only imagine. After all, in addition to all the terror that goes with any ultrasound, your last "primitive pregnancy" led to devastation. Scary don't cover it. I will be thinking of you, hoping that this little soul is here to stay.

  6. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that we know nothing. Symptoms mean nothing. Thank God there is no magical thinking or I'd be in big trouble. We just need to take our little PTSD asses into those appointments and pretend like we're those fertile people who are 100 percent sure everything is fine...and then it is. I am thinking every brave, healthy baby thought I can possibly think for you. You're going to be okay. You got this.

  7. I wish I could speed up time for you. Till ten, fingers and toes crossed for you :o) xoxoxo.

  8. Oh, me either. In fact, the first trimester this time (primitive, sex baby) was even more difficult than last time (IVF) because I had no monitoring. Hang in there.

  9. It's funny to think of a "sex-made" made baby as primitive. I like.
    Hoping for everything to be ok. Know that it must be impossible to think of anything else. Keep us posted.

  10. Hoping, mama. Hoping very hard for you.