Sunday, October 3, 2010

Painful memories. Believe in hope.

During an ultrasound, I asked the doctor how the baby's feet looked.  They were not showing up to my untrained eye on the screen. 

She looked at me and coolly said, "Are you afraid your baby doesn't have feet?"  

(Long pause.)  

"Someone has been on the internet too much," she said.

No, you rotten fucking bitch.  I wanted to know if the feet were rocker bottom.  Club feet.  Like my first daughter.  Who was still born.

If you cannot remember who I am, then put a mother fucking sticker on my chart to remember that my first baby died.

Instead, I just looked away and cried.

26 comments:

  1. Hope is real. If I made it, you can make it too.

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  2. Ohh Roccie I just want to slap that doctor (among other things). How dare she put you into the same category as a the neurotic and ignorant. Shame on her.
    Bet that doctor has perfect children that were conceived without a second thought and arrived via a natural and unpainful birth. Bitch.
    There I go being all judgemental again but I just can't help myself.
    Ok, off to hunt out some hope. I surely need a truckload so better keep looking.

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  3. That is a painful memory. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

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  4. What a dumbass that nurse is. Lots of hugs to you, friend.

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  5. How is it that people like this are allowed out in public? Good fucking grief.

    I am hoping so hard for you--and I'm glad to see that you are too.

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  6. Agreed...they need to have a big sticker that sums it up so we don't have to remind them every single freaking time we go to the doctor, exhausting & sad. I agree with egghunt, I feel the need to slap her for you!

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  7. That is awful. You would think some of these people made better notes on their patients. Jesus! I'm sorry you have to relive that for a second, Roc. :(

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  8. What the eff? Oh Roccie...What is it with medical folks not reading charts???? And do they require them to lose their sensitivity altogether at some point?

    Hugs

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  9. ugh...roccie. i'm so sorry. want me to hop over to your city and punch the crap out of her? i will..for you. thats fucking terrible.

    sending you love and hugs.

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  10. Oh, babes:( There should be stickers indeed. And freaking training so that people learn how to behave like human beings.

    (Your follow up comment made me weepy).

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  11. What a horrible bitch!!!! I am so sorry you had to deal with her!

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  12. Oh fuck. I'm so awfully sorry for that incredibly heartless comment, and for all the pain you've endured.

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  13. Ugh, are you kidding me?? The things people say with no idea where they're landing. Grrrr.

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  14. I'm seriously horrified on your behalf. I'm so incredibly sorry. What assholes pass as doctors these days? Perhaps a different color folder would suffice to say, "handle with care." I feel that's not too much to ask.

    Thanks, too for that follow up comment. It hit me at the right time tonight.

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  15. Horrible. There should be a place to report crap like that. SHE should wear a sticker saying "insensitive fool".

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  16. Insensitive fool is cracking me up.

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  17. Roccie, you are amazing. Such strength.

    What a douche bag.

    Thanks for the article!

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  18. My dad would say (in his best greasy French from rural Quebec) that this doctor missed a great opportunity to keep her mouth shut. Dude, did she ever!

    I go back in time. I make myself transparent. I go into the ultrasound room. I wipe your tears and stroke your hair.

    Thanks for reminding us to believe in hope. I believe it when you say it.

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  19. i hope someone bitch slapped this doctor after such an idiotic comment! yes, a sticker system should be in place for every office. black = tread very very carefully with your words. this person has been through PAIN. and pink for = this bitch had it easy. don't spend much time with her.

    yaay on the donor egg approval! will be pulling for you :o)

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  20. Glad I could cheer you up with my name calling. I am not GONE just yet...Tuesday is the day I hop a plane. I am stilll out and reading bloggies. I just had to stop writing about me. Hope that makes sense.

    Dude, I'd love to send Sienna in to talk to that doctor. She's on to something. Here's hoping that these days here are filled with all sorts of boring things healthwise and some fun diversions life-wise.

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  21. Jeez. Bitch slapping would have been too nice for her. Ugh. Such insensitivity is inexcuseable. I am so sorry that she added more pain to such an already painful memory.

    Oh, Roccie. I am so sorry for the loss of your prescious first daughter. Much love to you...

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  22. Hey Roccie, you doin alright? Silence is all good if you are all good. xxx Thinking of you.

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