Sunday, May 15, 2011

Living with Fertiles... take 2

My missing blog post was never rescued in the Blogger restore process.

Here it is, reposted for my own records, again.

So get this.  I have some good humor at our Infertile expense.  You in?

I was a walking commercial for Resolve and Infertility Awareness.  You know that dippy show called something like "What Would You Do?"...  I thought one of you guys set me up.  It was that bad.

I swear this woman threw every cliche at me.  I take that back, it is not true.  She did not tell me to "just adopt", but to offset this failure to offend, she compared my desire for children with her new puppy.  She is now "too old" for kids.  Funny, she is roughly my age.  Shame she cannot do the math in her head like I can.

The good news is she is part of senior leadership at my firm.  Ha.  She walks in and point blank asks me "Are you expecting a child?"  What is this.  The Victorian Age when we cannot say pregnant? I deliberately misunderstand her to say something about picking up Toddlerina from school. She balls up and asks me if I am pregnant.

What the fuck would you do?

"I have no announcement at this time."

Anyhow, the conversation drug and drug into lower and lower places.  I was ARMED I tell you!  Armed!  Thank jaw for National Infertility Awareness Week!  I didn't back down to one stupid thing she said.  I was a Blazing Infertile.

You know she won't drink the water on our floor?  

I assured her it was not in the water.  In fact, I have tried almost every treatment offered in Assisted Reproductive Technologies and it cannot be corrected with Magic Water.

You know she won't sit on the toilets on our floor?  

I assured her babies were not made from toilet seats.  I told her if I thought licking a toilet seat would help, I would do it.  As an INFERTILE, I am willing to try anything to grow my family.  I have been trying hard since Toddlerina turned 6 months.

You know she thinks if I stop trying it will just happen? 

I should take a vacation, an expensive vacation.  I assured her that my condition is medical and not in my head.  I have medical bills and loans that are now driving us out of our current home to prove it.  Okay, I was too embarrassed to say the last one to her face, but it is true.  We need to move.  Story for another day.

Guess who comes to my rescue?

You wont believe it.

The Catholic.


The Catholic comes to my rescue!  

The woman share an office with - the very woman I feared who would not understand my ART.

I would like to formally retract all judgements on the Catholic Church.  I, uh, had a lot.

She rips out an email to this Absurd Fertile Senior Executive:

I don’t know if you were aware of this, or how awkward your question or subsequent comments were, but as I have learned quite a bit on this in recent months, I thought you would appreciate the information at the attached link.

I have made my share of regrettable remarks in my personal and work life, and I hope you don’t take this as me being judgmental, but just to prevent future misunderstanding.

I was surprised that 1 in 8 couples have infertility problems.  At least within the IT department it is much, much higher, more like 1 in 4 for some reason.  In fact I just went out to lunch with 4 other people and 3 of the 4 of them have had fertility challenges.

Here is a good website for your future reference:

P.S. Of course it goes without saying you don’t ask someone if they are pregnant until they pretty much schedule their maternity leave, as number of miscarriages etc. is also very high frequency.

When is the last time you had someone stand up for you?

Let me tell you, it touches you deeply.


  1. Wow...that lady rocks!!! I love what she did and what an awesome ally she was for you! I also must admit I harbor many judgments towards the Catholic church, some of them completely substantiated by extremely judgmental Catholics I have encountered but also some of them that have been countered by the compassion and support shown to me by other Catholics. Just goes to show we're all different and what a lovely surprise it is when someone shows up and turns our preconceived notions around!

  2. This lady rocks! When I read this the first time you posted it (damn, Blogger) I was almost moved to tears. Seriously, who does something so genuine and even throws the Resolve website out there for her to educate herself with?! Snap. She totally took care of business for you and I'm curious what the response will be, if any. I'm happy you didn't have to off The Catholic when you were on Lupron...;)

  3. That is amazing. What a great woman.

  4. i don't think my comment on this stuck before thanks to stupid blogger. all i can say is, that your coworker rocks. the one who wrote the email that is. the other, nosy one, needs to have a bird shit right between her eyes after a facial. hmm, perhaps this can be arranged?? i'd love to think that if she asked me such a personal question, i would say "is it LEGAL FOR YOU TO ASK ME THIS??!", but instead, i'd probably be passive aggressive about it. or, react a week later after i've rehearsed my comeback. either way, hopefully she learned her lesson WHILE feeling like an asshole at the same time. i think that would be best. and btw, you haven't mentioned how YOU are doing in quite a while. all is good my friend?? xoo.

  5. I wouldn't pin all the anti-ART nonsense on Catholics, as I know my (un)fair share of ignoranus WASPs and born-agains. Stupid is as stupid does, irrespective of which Jesus you prefer.

    I renew my call for the Nosy A-Hole Senior Hooker Lady to get a hearty crane-kick to the taco. And/or, once you've made the announcement, march into her office and start talking about hemorrhoids and vaginal discharge and vomit. Because, you know, apparently inquiring minds want to know.

  6. Good for her and I'm glad you have support in your workplace. I cannot believe all the assinine things people say and I just want to punch them all in the face!

  7. Yay for the appearance of the dissapearing post. I love the catholic. She is an angel. Please tell us if she got a response to her email?
    Hope you and the pregnancy are good Roccie. xxx