Every time I thought about waiting a month or so, I had this faint unrest. I dont know. I just felt this little pull.
Cycle on Old Momma, cycle on.
I have been POAS since mid last week to watch for the ovulation surge. In the manner of most POAS tests I take, the bitch has been negative all weekend.
Hmm. Crap. Maybe this show is over. Mother father.
Maybe the little voice, that I liked to pretend was the spirit of my unborn child, urging me on was really the cracked and hoarse voice of my fading ovaries. A gentle voice whispering in my ear, "your ass isn't getting any younger".
I am oddly ok with this. Someone get me a fine young 20-something who can crank me out 30+ eggs.
I am probably getting ahead of myself. My RE tells me over and over we aren't at the donor stage yet.
I am a little afraid of my eggs. There is just so much to say about it, but I just dont know if I can do it. Does it make it real if I talk about it? Does it tempt fate and those fucking faeries? Dont even get me started about 'God's plan'.
Holy shit, I am going to get struck by lighting.