Why do I write this as Roccie? Why don't I own up to all of this?
I am deliberate about keeping myself under the radar. My name is fake, husband's and IVF#2 toddler's name is fake. My fertility clinic is disguised. I even disguise the other clinic where I did my first IVF cycle and I don't owe them a thing.
Role call: anyone here from real life reading this right now that found me through a well intended "like" from my King Dipshit brother?
Sigh. I have been outed.
My guess is they would quickly become bored and stop reading. My fear is all they take away from this is that I am a nutcase and bought a skin baby. Damn.
I have been thinking a lot about my fit with the baby cloning comment. While she is stupid, I don't think she was actually calling donor egg babies cloned. I googled that business up and low and behold, some fucker in Italy is actually doing it. Sigh.
Why would I jump to those conclusions? Why am I so defensive about using donor eggs?
I cannot answer it yet. I need to figure this out. Why do I care if someone in real life reads this? I don't know what I am trying to hide.
Yeah, I am a little embarrassed I am taking anti-depressants. I joke about it a lot, but mostly because I feel worse if I pretend I am not. Does the real life reader take the time to understand how a stillborn daughter affects you? Probably not. That reader doesn't read enough to understand what not being able to have children does to you. All they take away is that I cannot cope.
I am glad I took the time to write it out. I don't care who knows about donor eggs in real life. But why would I jump to conclusions and want to throw down over the cloning comment? I don't know but I need to understand it.
In other news, no period in sight. I will head back into Large Fertility Operation this week to vag cam it up and see what lingers. Aunt Flo you are a miserable cow but please come pick up your equally hated Cystic Bitch Sister.