If I hadn't been there myself, I would have thought the story was exaggerated. I mean, she is an adult. In the free world. She is allowed to drive a vehicle, for fuck's sake.
Here is the story. I won't draw the conclusion for you, but I am interested if you come up with the same one as me in the end.
This has a happy ending, for anyone who is already worried. I did not show the inner rage that was making it difficult to hear the ignorant bullshit flowing from her giant yap. She should thank her lucky stars I was not on Lupron. I would likely have ripped her tongue out and stuffed it in her ear.
I knew this woman was trouble the day I met her. Despite my early warnings, our friendship has progressed to occasional coffee before we pick up at school. Why didn't I trust my gut? I think I was too geeked up to have my first "mom friends".
This is as close to verbatim as possible. I resist all embellishments or color commentary.
She knows I have an IVF baby. She has the potential to know we have endured over a year of failures, but only from brief references to it. We don't talk about it.
But it came up today at coffee.
I was explaining how baby number two was a little harder than The Common Fertile might understand. How we have had to cancel a lot this year. She has no idea what that means. I bundled it all into one anonymous bucket - retrievals and transfers - to cancelations. She knows nothing of the donor eggs.
She said she thinks Assisted Reproductive technologies are "a blessing". Then she goes Mel Gibson on me.
The Mouth: I am all for organ donation - like a liver or something. But I draw the line at cloning babies.
Me: No one is cloning babies.
The Mouth: Yes, they are. Most people don't talk about it.
Me: No one is cloning babies.
The Mouth: Oh yes, they can grow them like skin, then donate them. (She wrinkles her nose, like she smells something bad.)
Me: They are not cloning babies.
Then, I cannot really hear the rest of the conversation, as the blood is boiling so loudly in my ears. It gets a little awkward from my point of view. She senses something is off and I am doing my best to pretend I am listening to her.
What. Are you still talking. I think so. I see your mouth moving.
My initial question in this post was to confirm she was talking about donor eggs. I don't care anymore. Though I think she was. I want to take this chance to document why I didn't let loose The Rage of a Mother in Limbo.
I do this for my unborn child. I do this for my nine babies on ice. A cutting response that puts The Mouth into place doesn't further my cause.
I have at least 5 years before this "issue" might come to light when my yet-unborn baby announces to the kindergarten class that s/he is from a Special Gift Egg. I have a long, long time to get my head around that unavoidable and potentially awkward moment.
I can educate the parents and the children. If the mother thinks like this, the child will too. All that ugly stuff is learned. Instead of cutting her to the bone (immediate satisfaction) I can sit with my story and let it marinade a little longer. Tell the story they way it should unfold (long term opportunity).
Parenting is some hard ass stuff and this baby isn't even born.