Friday, April 15, 2011

My subchorionic hematoma

The baby is fine today.  S/he has a heart rate of 151 and is measuring 7w4d, a little ahead of where we actually are by a few days.

What can I say?  I am overcome with relief and gratitude.  It is difficult for me to put into words just yet, so I need to let it brew.  See what comes out of it all.  Brutally heavy experience.  I was curled up on the couch 2 days ago, certain it was the end, and now it appears to be on the path to all okay?  I don't even understand my own thoughts yet.

In the mean time, I am your new resident expert-in-training on subchorionic hematomas.  I don't want to be one, but at least I have a name for this bleeding now.  It is smaller than when it started on Wednesday by 25%, down to 3cm today.  I am told it is average in size and appears to be resolving itself.  More bed rest this weekend.

What is next.  Funny thing is that I made myself a promise before this all started.  Once we cleared the heartbeat, I wasn't going to allow myself to worryworryworry about what could go wrong.  I went through Toddlerina's pregnancy in constant fear.  Now that I had this fine young egg, I was going to celebrate the benefits of DE by releasing worry.

Hm.  Maybe I will start next week.
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38 comments:

  1. LuluApril 15, 2011 at 12:33 PM

    Whew. So glad the baby is fine.

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  2. siennaApril 15, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    i've been stalking your blog hoping to hear good news. yaaay!! big big big sigh of relief :o) rest up and take it EASY this weekend please!! big big big hugs! xoxoxoxo.

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  3. My VegasApril 15, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    thank goodness. You've been on my mind, and I am glad to hear the little bean is thriving!

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  4. Dr. BlondieApril 15, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    So glad everything's okay!

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  5. AnonymousApril 15, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    Wonderful news! So relieved for you. I think some level of worry is a given and acceptable as long as you don't let it consume you.

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  6. SApril 15, 2011 at 1:06 PM

    Whew! So glad everything is OK. I've been thinking of you.

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  7. TwoDogMamaApril 15, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    So glad everything is okay. I have been thinking about you as well. Hang in there and I totally get the worry. Just try and relax and rest. Easier said than done I know. :)

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  8. DoraApril 15, 2011 at 1:43 PM

    Catching up, and so relieved for you! YAY for measuring ahead. Bonbons and bed this weekend!

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  9. AnonymousApril 15, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    I have a friend who just hit 12wks preg, and she had a H as well and bled through the first Tri. The H resolved itself, and sounds like yours will too. I'm happy to hear bub is doing so well. Take care...

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  10. SarahApril 15, 2011 at 2:00 PM

    So happy to hear everything is okay with the baby. Keeping you in my heart this weekend.

    xo

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  11. GurleeApril 15, 2011 at 2:03 PM

    Yes! So glad the little one is fine!! If you manage to master how to minimize worry you'll have to share you secrets, that is of course if I am ever there again. Enjoy the bedrest, so happy for you!

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  12. sarahApril 15, 2011 at 2:04 PM

    hi there, found you from My New Normal's page. I just got diagnosed with an SCH at 13 weeks, so I am riding these waves alongside you right now. Doing my best to step away from the worrisome Dr. Google. Glad to hear that yours seems to be resolving itself already. I go for a recheck on Tuesday.

    Fingers crossed for both of us and our babes.

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  13. KathleenApril 15, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    Phew!!! So glad everything is ok. (Tippy)

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  14. AnonymousApril 15, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Oh, what wonderful news to start the weekend! SO happy for you. Feet up and relax, you deserve it! xoxo

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  15. ASPApril 15, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    Phew. I've been thinking about you all day. I know it's scary but at least you have a diagnosis of what's causing it and it's not some unexplained shit. I think I saw someone post Joy's blog up earlier but you can check it out at www.hope4joy.blogspot.com. She had a sch too and is 20 something weeks now. Check it. Take it easy, Sugarface. Lots and lots of love to you, R.

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  16. rebeccaApril 15, 2011 at 3:41 PM

    Ugh so incredibly relieved to hear this news! Rest up my friend & be kind to yourself!

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  17. AnonymousApril 15, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    Huge relief Roccie! Enjoy the extra pampering this weekend!

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  18. AdeleApril 15, 2011 at 4:02 PM

    Yes! I'm so glad, Roccie. Great news about the heartbeat, great news about the fact that the hematoma is shrinking. Sounds like it is on its way out and I'm keeping fingers crossed that next time they'll barely be able to see it.

    Take it EASY this weekend. (And next week is soon enough).

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  19. StacieApril 15, 2011 at 4:27 PM

    Whew. I am so, so relieved! (although I really did believe your bean was okay) Good news the SH is shrinking. Maybe you can go worry free once it resolves completely. Hugs!

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  20. cdgApril 15, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    I am so glad to hear that everything is ok. I hope the continued bedrest resolves this issue once and for all.
    I am so sorry that you cannot sail thru this pregnancy worry free. I always get so mad when that happens to my fellow IF sisters. We already go thru so much to get here, you would think we could at least be granted an easy 9 months. I realize life does not work like this, but still so not right.

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  21. MissMaybeApril 15, 2011 at 5:21 PM

    Glad to hear everything is ok! Wish it were easier but kinda "funny" how certain news (SCH) can be good news - everything is relative. Hope you are able to relax and ditch the worry. Seems to be a lot of SCH going around so know you are not alone. And maybe yours will be gone before you know it!

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  22. AugustaApril 15, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    Experiencing mucho reliefo over here. So glad that the babe is a-ok, and that the bleeding has a name and can be monitored, and most importantly, is resolving. Love that word.
    Hoping the bed rest this weekend will bring calm into your mind, and serenity to your entire being (I sound like a fortune cookie). I've been thinking about you nonstop. I just want you and baby to be well.
    Sending you hugs, dear woman.

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  23. Dead Cow GirlApril 15, 2011 at 6:05 PM

    I am SO freakin happy for you. I know its hard not to worry. I can tell you not to, but I know you will... for the next 18 plus years.

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  24. Still A Guest RoomApril 15, 2011 at 7:16 PM

    So glad that the baby's okay!!!

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  25. AnonymousApril 16, 2011 at 2:06 AM

    Thank goodness baby is still okay, even though you are the worse for wear! If you don't read hope4joy.blogspot.com, she had a SCH too and is 22 weeks now and back at work. Just a bit of hopeful anecdotal evidence for our new resident expert! ((hugs))

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  26. NApril 16, 2011 at 2:45 AM

    Great to hear. So glad the baby is ok. YEah yeah yeah

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  27. gwinneApril 16, 2011 at 5:18 AM

    Glad all is okay. (Thought you said on Wed they couldn't find the source of bleeding?) HOpe bed rest is restful.

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  28. AnonymousApril 16, 2011 at 5:47 AM

    Roccie rules, subchorionic hematoma drools. (OK, got the third-grade humor out of my system.)


    This is great news and you are skipping along at 151 beats per minute.

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  29. JBApril 16, 2011 at 8:13 AM

    May the hematoma continue to shrink and the carefree celebratory feelings grow. So glad all is okay.

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  30. RoccieApril 16, 2011 at 8:38 AM

    Exactly Gwinne.

    It didn't really connect until I got home, but I think they were holding some information back on me Wed. How can they know the change in size if the source couldn't be found?

    I am not thrilled w being kept in the dark, but I trust their judgement. They know I am a fragile nutcase at best. Maybe hearing it was a size 8 out of 10 on Wednesday would have done more damage than good.

    Great catch.

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  31. lindaApril 16, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    Hematoma? Are you on heparin or lovenox? Glad to hear it's on the way out. Girl, I don't know how any gets through a pregnancy without worrying but I hope that you can get to that point, SOON! The source might be so small that they can't easily pinpoint it. Maybe try an U/S facility that has a really high end U/S machine? Most of the ones I've seen at OB offices are pretty bad on the resolution side of things.

    Hugs,
    Linda

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  32. hope4joyApril 16, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    Roccie,

    The hematoma is such a scary diagnosis. It robs you of the ability to enjoy your pregnancy. It has been a long long road and I am still worried from time to time and won't feel better until it is gone. The great news is the size of your hematoma. It isn't large which is great. The docs seem to worry less and less as the baby and your uterus grow bigger and bigger in relation to the hematoma.

    I wish you the best of luck in dealing with the bed rest and the worry. I suggest strict bed rest and more water than you can stand, it helps with the cramps. Hang in there girl!

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  33. Good Egg HatchedApril 16, 2011 at 7:03 PM

    We are SCH sisters! Do you think there's a friendship bracelet for that? Hope my kidding is not unwelcome...my SCH was the source of much angst for me in the first weeks, but it resolved quickly (though I still suspect it may have contributed to later bleeding in the pregnancy), and my little H was unperturbed about any of it. Just try try try not to think about it. It's going to go away on its own time, so why not have an enjoyable time while it does its going away business? I know, I know. TRY.

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  34. Lut C.April 17, 2011 at 11:57 AM

    Worrying is natural. Besides, it's practice for later. Or aren't you an overprotective mother like me (plain protective should be enough, but I can't help going into overdrive).

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  35. LisaApril 18, 2011 at 5:46 AM

    Oh Roccie... I've been MIA in the blogging world lately and getting caught up now. Geezuz! I am SO fucking relieved that everything looks to be ok. Man...what a horrible week you've had with the worrying and feeling like shit. Take it easy my friend and get those feet up. Thinking of you...xoxo

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  36. Conceptionally ChallengedApril 18, 2011 at 8:20 AM

    So glad to hear everything looks ok. This bleeding sounds so scary (ok, I probably find all and any bleeding scary)

    Thinking of you.

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  37. RosieApril 18, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    Roccie I've known if several that have resolved themselves and have produced big healthy babies. Scary shit though but rapt to hear of your beautiful healthy bubba cooking along nicely... Apparently oblivious! Look forward to hearing even more positive news. Talk soon. I'm off to have a baby in the morning. Xxxx

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  38. Mrs. LemonApril 19, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    So glad you are doing well! I'll keep checking in on you.

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