If you know me IRL, you wonder why I wear a sweater with a heat index of 100 degrees.
I have never been good about getting to work on time. Too much morning time is spent fussing with the dogs, watering a half dead plant or some other urgent task. Mostly catering to the fair Toddlerina takes up my time.
It is impossible to get to work at a reasonable time now that I have the need to disguise my belly every morning. I try a minimum of two outfits every day. I would try on three, but I don't have enough clothes to consider.
We reach 15 weeks on Thursday, plus this is my second/third baby. Let me tell you the popping and sagging came fast. Not to mention the boobs. Heaven help me, these breasts will be the death of me. I need to buy size L for the girls, but then the arm holes sag.
I still have not come clean about the pregnancy at work. My guess is some people are putting it all together, but most have the decency not to ask. Once it is out there, I cannot take it back. If something doesn't go to plan, I have to face them all.
My defense mechanism? Carry a notebook. Everywhere.
I can be seen ready to take dictation at any time, even in the washroom.
Here are a couple of my favorite poses. (Of course, these are taken at home as I could not risk someone seeing me do this at work and draw any attention to myself.)
We told my nieces this weekend. I adore these girls. The oldest is in 8th grade, the middle is 6th and the littlest one is in the 4th grade. Their reaction was everything I had hoped for. I may not have their unbridled joy, but it counts for a lot to see it in their sweet faces.
I asked them if they thought Aunt Roccie was just getting big? Too much indulging in my much loved milkshakes? I barely had the sentence out of my mouth before they were all shouting, "Yes!"
Perhaps I have another week undercover at work.
Those pictures are hilar. And girl, there is definitely something behind that notebook. Sending hugs to your rapidly and beautifully expanding person.
ReplyDeleteLove the pics!
ReplyDeleteI just laughed out loud when I scrolled down to your pictures. You're the best, R. Always putting a smile on my face you are. Keep on rockin' that file folder. It looks good on you. They sell them in other colors you know. Black might make you look slimmer. ♥
ReplyDeletePS- Your coworkers have to totally know. You so look impregnated in these pictures.
Honey, you know I love you to pieces. But you are not fooling ANYONE with that notebook.
ReplyDeleteYou are hysterical. There is most likely rampant speculation about your increasing size. You look great, I understand your hesitation about shouting it from the rooftops but I imagine most are onto you. Soon, I hope you flaunt it.
ReplyDeletehahahaha!!! I was the same way. i always wore some baggy cardigan sweater or draped my bookbag over my belly. I don't know why I did it. I really just didn't want to discuss it for fear it would all go away and I'd have to then explain that.
ReplyDeleteNow that I am 27 weeks, I am pretty much outed. No hiding this bump now.
CJ at My Vegas
First, Amber is the love of my life for calling you "impregnated." Not preggers, preggo, but factually and full of medical truthiness.
ReplyDeleteSecond, may I suggest you start wearing a fanny pack (fill it with spare pens for work meetings, fruit snacks for Toddlerina, Snausages for the dog, Reese's Pieces for you)? It will both hide your IMPREGNATED belly much the way a beer gut eclipses a dude's package ("when you got a tool like this, you gotta build a shed for it) and it will hold your snacks and office supplies. Either this, or worship at the temple of SJP/Carrie Bradshaw and start wearing a tutu with every outfit. This is sure to help you escape notice.
You are getting kinda close to obvious. You could just not say anything and make a game of it (who will confront me first?).
can you be any cuter? I was (and will be!) the opposite at work. once I'm knocked up, I tell all my patients. then again, I am draping my body all over them and if my boobs hurt, then they don't get touched and I have to change my entire adjusting procedure.
ReplyDeletethx for posting pix. now show me your boobs.
you are such a gem.
ReplyDeletethose photos made me laugh out loud!
time to come clean at work :)
Oh you make me giggle. The third photo especially. Hubby says you look really fast.
ReplyDeleteSimply amazing! You are a superhero of disguise. I thought that you look so serious that you must be on an important mission. (pS this reminds me of the Mr.'s new job lost in the halls trick, carry a folder and a wrench. Not one soul will think you don't know where you are going!)
ReplyDeleteHa! Love it. I went public at 16 weeks because I was getting the questions. Now no one sees me! Oh the irony! You look fabulous!
ReplyDeletehysterical :)
ReplyDeleteThis is sort of like Superman behind those Clark Kent glasses. I see you, Roccie!
ReplyDeleteOut yourself; I did it just before 15 weeks.
Those are AWESOME! I find myself totally looking past your OBVIOUS PREGNANCY and being impressed by your nicely mulched and landscaped yard. Nice Russian sage! And I did the same thing, though often with a laptop...
ReplyDeleteHa ha, That is hilarious! They know. Unless of course they are totally unobservant or a guy. You do look pregnant, beautifully pregnant!
ReplyDeleteI tried that trick cause the condo I own is in a senior community. (A whole other story there) I did it till about 9 months. Ha ha. Then caught sight of myself in a window and realized there was no hiding it, even in winter in Utah and even if they are seniors and possibly can't see well! Joke was definitely on me.
I tend to carry big purses and before I was ready to come out with my pregnancy news at work, I found myself constantly carrying my purse and holding it more in front of me, rather than on my shoulder. This worked for me with my college students until week 20-21, and then when I told them my news, they were shocked because they hadn't noticed!
ReplyDeleteUmmmmm.....yeah you so look pregnant. But if you added a doughnut to your disguise then maybe people would just think you were getting fat! Hope your little one continues to grow and starts kicking you soon.
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny...but I think you need to spill the beans or somehow get bigger file folders to carry around! I dunno...definitely more than a milkshake bump you got going on there!! LOL!
ReplyDeleteContinue to be so happy for you, and noticed you are smiling too, and I don't think it is the contents of the manilla folder!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha, these pictures are the best. That folder must be given a name, and saved for posterity. You look fantastic!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! These photos may not end at the Spy Museum, but whatever works for you is good enough for us! But yeah, one more week, TOPS.
ReplyDeleteOMG I love your crazy sense of humor, I was laughing hysterically at this post! I especially love your running pose! Your such a sly one Roccie! Makes me so happy to see you inching closer and closer to the safe zone. I hear you on the big boobs, mine are completely out of control!
ReplyDeleteYou are so freaking adorable! You're also not getting away with anything trying to conceal the Obvious Bump. But I bet you could get a few more weeks out of it if you stopped trying to hide it and just started carrying a milkshake cup and getting really offended if anybody brought it up. Plus? More milkshake-y goodness time. Bonus! I bet switching to a crappy sports bra would help too.
ReplyDeleteThese pictures just cracked me up! You look super adorable. But also pretty pregnant my friend :)
ReplyDeleteI would say a week, tops:) Those photos gave me a good chuckle - I especially like the final, action shot.
ReplyDeleteYou're right about it being out there, once said. Every millimeter I took to putting it out there resulted in terror and a quick run on the fetal doppler. But you are doing GREAT. And so is bebe. And I'm glad you work with people who keep themselves to themselves (though don't have any illusions that this will continue).
you look great, but it's definitely noticeable! good luck with everything and spreading the word when you're ready:)
ReplyDeleteI like the milkshake-and-get-offended idea. Hilarious! :) On another note, since I only just started reading your blog, I had not seen any hint of your appearance, and I gotta tell you, I never would have drawn you that way. Funny how that happens, huh? Keep up the incredibly honest writing. I love it.
ReplyDeleteYou are adorable. With and without a notebook. I don't think you'll be able to keep it a secret too, too long, dear Roccie. It's..um..getting to be obvious. It seems like you are gaining in confidence with this pregnancy. Loving it!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't post a comment on this the other day for some reason, but I have to second what everyone else has said - I don't think you're fooling anyone anymore...
ReplyDeleteI have tried to disguise it around my neighborhood, as well, finally had one neighbor just bite the bullet and ask me on Saturday. It was so awkward and he was so uncomfortable, it gave me a little bit of a laugh to watch him squirm as his curiosity got the best of him and he just had to ask.
xo