Monday, August 9, 2010

Rollercoaster shitballs

Ah, fuck, we talked about IUI at the office today.

We also enjoy MFI so IUI is a waste of time, energy and money I just don't fucking have anymore.

Mother father.

Friday 06-Aug, day 5

  • Left 9, 8, 8 , 7
  • Right 6, 5
  • Not measured    7-8
Monday 09-Aug, day 8
  • Left 11, 11, 6, 5, 4
  • Right 10, 7, 7
  • Not measured 6-8 
Based on 2mm growth per day, this gets me 3 by Saturday.  The rest are useless, I guess.  They are on a different schedule.  Maybe this is the risk with no BCP and no Lupron?  Mother father.

The nurse reminded me the RE wants a minimum of 3 for retrieval.  They want a 20 for retrieval.  I saw over at Lisa's house her RE will do a 14.  (Thank you, thank you for posting that today and congratulations.  Can you please come to my house and rub yourself all over my abdomen for good luck?)

Obviously, I panicked a bit.  Nurse back tracked a little and said things look much better than last time, but it didn’t go over very well.  I don’t know if she was just careless or has presented a real threat to our success.  My sister had a great point.  We may have three eggs this time which is 50% more than the amount last time.  High percentages are easy when your numbers suck ass like mine.

I am waiting for the call from RE today.  Sounds like meds will go up and retrieval on Monday, if we make it.  I am back in the office on Wednesday.

ps - I don’t know why some would actually reduce in size, see the left side.

pps - I am totally and completely full of shit for anything I have said about being ready for donor eggs.


  1. I have no idea why numbers would decrease, but I do have to say that my follicle sizes were all over the place with this cycle. Seriously. Some didn't grow for days. Some ballooned out and became overachievers. I did not think that I'd have more than 3 possible eggs at one point. We talked about converting to IUI also. But...then...things just sort of jumped into action. I cried for days over it. And no the RE wouldn't increase my meds! (I didn't increase them myself either, although I was really tempted.)

    My point is that you can't count yourself out yet. I'm having one of my good feelings about you this time around...

    Hugs. All of this shit is just plain hard. Sigh. Update when the RE calls.

  2. Hey, Girly. Jut like Stacie said, don't count yourself out yet. Seriously. My guess is that if they bumped up the Follistim, then your follies are going to be right on track for the next ultrasound. You're only on day 8 and you've got some time for some more stimming. Don't freak, my dear. You're going to make it.

    And it's okay to not be okay with donor eggs at this point. That's a decision when cycling with your own eggs is no longer an option. At this point, you're still cycling with your own--so don't even think about it now. Just keep saying, "I think I can, I think I can" to get through this cycle and the next appointment. Sending loads of good vibes your way. ♥

  3. (((hugs)))

    You never know...those follies might go on a growing frenzy!

    IF sucks!

  4. You are only on day 8, after all, can they let you run a little longer and do retrieval on Monday? Then you'd have at least 6 by my calculations (and our clinic certainly doesn't require them to be at 20 either)

    Crossing my fingers for you - but silently swearing at the unfairness of it too...I totally get it.

  5. I am in no means laughing at you but title of your blog post had me laughing out loud! Being a novice with none of my own experience I want to echo the other ladies thoughts.
    Its still early.
    Anything can happen.
    Don't give up.

  6. ah fuckballs. that sucks... i would gladly come over and rub myself all over your abdomem. where do you live?

    seriously though, you're on day 8. remember that sister. day 8. i'm on day 14. of course my reports are going to be better - i've got 6 extra days of drugs coursing through my body. isn't it premature to talk about flipping this to an iui?

    i'm still holding out hope on this one. you're womb too rockin girl (isn't that what you said to me?)

    keep the faith... its not over yet. i don't hear any fat ladies singing.


  7. Girl, I feel you. My follies are as fickle as yours - in my last cycle they were growing and shrinking in size and number without any pattern or predictability. I wish I had some answers but all I can offer you is my empathy and a big hug. I wish I could come over with a big pitcher of virgin margaritas. I am thinking good thoughts for you to have a successful retrieval!

  8. I agree about not counting yourself. I know you're basing on 2mm/day for growth, but often they catch up more rapidly than that...and that's what I'm hoping for. I also can't figure out the reversing numbers on the left - unless they were measured wrong to begin with? Was it a different doc/tech doing the measuring? There is such variation in technique (not to mention skill). Also, he'll only retrieve 20+???? I could swear that some of mine were well below this and still retrieved.

    It's early days yet. I'm hoping hoping hoping for you with all my might. C'mon eggies. Grow (damn it)!!!!!!

  9. Roccie, you have been my rock ha excuse the pun! I am sending positive thought and energy your way! Grow eggies grow!!!!! A woman on my forum got one egg and a baby from it! I think it's quality not quantity... I had 8 which is pretty low. Lots of luck and fecundity my dear!!!

  10. I don't know enough to be able to offer any comforting words (and how comforting can words really be, anyway) but I am thinking of you and hoping you got some good news today.

  11. It has been my experience at times that if a different tech measures your follicles, they pull a different measurment which is both annoying and causes unwarranted anxiety. During my first IVF which I didn't document all that well in blogland, however, this crap happened to me and I went into retrieval only knowing that I had two that were of "mature" measurement with at my RE's office was anything over 18 and we got 8 mature eggs... I am thinking of you and as always rooting for you!

  12. What happened yesterday?! You're killing me softly with the suspense. I'm going to the gym right now and then some other errands, I fully expect an update upon my arrival home! ;) Hope you're okay.

  13. Dying here, too. Hope all is okay.