Roccie Road: Booby twinge

Monday, June 14, 2010

Booby twinge

This one is for the die hards who have been around the block.

What came first the chicken or the egg? Did I really feel a booby twinge or is it just my progesterone fucking with me?

2wMFw and you can guess what the MF stands for.

4 comments:

AdeleJune 15, 2010 at 5:34 AM
Oh yes indeedy I can guess. And it absolutely is. And the progesterone is completely the chicken (or, conversely, the egg). It just messes with the mind (not to mention the boobs). But I will cross everything that it is not a MF at all...just a very 2ww on the way to something good.

And thank you, very much for your comment on my blog, and for your suggestion of weatherproofing which I like very, very much. Have almost fully switched into neutral.
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ASPJune 15, 2010 at 6:00 AM
Ahhh, the boob twinges. I had them AFTER my BFN's, so perhaps this is a good sign that yours is happening now! The MF is the best part of the 2ww. Have you started Googling yet? ;)
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RoccieJune 15, 2010 at 8:05 PM
I knew it.

Progesterone, you asshole.
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AnonymousJune 17, 2010 at 7:20 AM
Fuck (that was just for you) progesterone. I've come to believe that stuff is the devil. Not only does it make you feel PG to continue the IF mind-fuck, it's like taking a depressant.
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Well, how did I get here?

- Pull goalie.

- Dark Ages. A stillborn loss I don't talk about much here. I lost the plot for a while.

- Try, try, try for 1 year. Welcome to the world of IVF. Do not pass IUI. Go directly to ICSI.

- Full Cycle, Round 1 - Hurrah, we have insurance! No baby. Nothing to freeze.

- Full Cycle, Round 2 - How the hell did we burn through $25k of insurance coverage? Self-pay. Change to microdose Lupron. Baby girl home: healthy, happy.

- Frozen, Round 1 - Have one, transfer one. BFP. All three beta levels look good. First u/s doesn't show a fetal pole. Second u/s never finds heart beat. Miscarriage completed with medication.

- Try for Full Cycle, Round 3 - Poor response with only 2 follicles after microdose Lupron, increased from 350 to 450 Follistim and 150 Menopur. Convert to IUI. Lame counts, 15 million. BFN.

- Canceled The Final Full Cycle after estrogen priming with Ganirelix the month prior to retrieval. Starting at 450 Follistim and 150 Menopur. One follicle measured at final u/s. BFN.

- Crap. Diminished ovarian reserve at 39.

- Transfer one beautiful blastocyst from a donor egg. BFN. What. But this is DE, right??? BFN.

- DE FET canceled due to a cyst in January. Lots of Lupron for no good reason. We tried again for the FET in February. Another cyst. Finally cyst free and set for March. 50%-50% chance of pregnancy.

- BFP and a heartbeat followed by Giant SCH Scare the very next day. Last bleed was at 13 wks.

- Added marginal placenta previa to the mix at the 20 week level II ultrasound. Gah. A follow up appointment four weeks later shows the PP gone and the uterus growth resolved the issue.

- Welcome Baby Jay at 39+ weeks via scheduled repeat c-section. A boy. A boy!!

- Considering the future of our frozen embryos. Letting "Party of Four" sink in.

- Starting the process to find a family for our remaining embryos. Feeling perfect about it. UPDATE. That was a total lie. I am freaking the fuck out. UPDATE. I got this. UPDATE. Total melt down. FINAL UPDATE. Recovered, with a tender heart.

- Find a magnificent family to accept our remaining embryos. She is pregnant, first try. Joy.

- For the love of all that is holy, I am pregnant. We made this baby like animals. No RE involved.

- Explore the possibilities of Down Syndrome. Find a beautiful community fiercely dedicated to their children. We are prepared to welcome home a baby with Down Syndrome, but it was not meant to be us.

Welcome to my family: one from my old eggs and one from a donor. A bonus from my very old eggs and the Two Backed Monster. Irrelevant, huh? Joy.