Wednesday, June 23, 2010

WTF Day in Chicagoland, Thursday, June 24 at 2:45pm CDT

Things I plan to know when I walk out of WTF Fest 2010:

Follicle news
  1. What is my resting/antral follicle count?  
  2. WTF is resting follicle count and WTF makes you think it will change this month?
  3. I want MF details on my follicles.  How many did I have:
    1. for IVF 1, when we got 3 sucky eggs, all moved on a day 3 transfer?  BFN.
    2. for IVF 2, when we got 8 decent eggs, a day 5 transfer of 2 embryos resulting in one delicious baby and an embryo for the freezer?
    3. If my resting was low when we started IVF-3-turned-IUI, WTF made you think it would produce enough eggs to warrant IVF?
 FSH and stats
  1. What is my damn FSH and why isn't it a good indicator of ovarian reserve?
  2. WTF.  I am 40 in December.  Early December.
  3. I want to know my embryo classifications/grades/etc. WTF went wrong to cause the FET to never develop a heartbeat, despite good beta scores?
  4. Speaking of which, WTF were my beta numbers exactly?
Creative Shit from all my New Friends
  1. Uterine biopsy to encourage implantation.  WTF (whythefuck, not what) isn't everyone talking about this?
  2. Moxa and acupuncture
  3. CoQ10 and WTF else?
  4. Damn caffeine I had a couple months ago.  WTF didnt RE tell me it was poison?
  5. Something about ICSI on immature eggs allowed to mature in vitro.  WTF didn't we do this last time?  Did I lose viable eggs?
What am I missing?
The nurse on the phone this week wasn't giving me the direction I need.  She called to talk about my BFN.  I asked when we plan to cycle next and she says it is up to me.  Again, WTF.  I am paying $15k+ out of pocket and I think I could use a professional opinion, right?

If my old ovaries didn't respond, WTF makes you think you can change their mind?

I want to get this right.  This is the last hurrah before donor eggs.  I don't fear the donor as I did in the past.  To say I would be grateful to become pregnant with donor eggs is a gross understatement.  It is an extremely complex issue and I feel like I am glossing over it.  I will digest it all if it comes to me.

Man, that was a cleansing post.  You know what I mean?


  1. This is a good vent. I think you needed it. Don't worry about the past and don't beat yourself up over caffeine/alcohol etc. Remember, crack whores get pregnant!

  2. Good post. And it sounds like you are asking some good questions. I've been taking the Coq10 (not that this is exactly a ringing endorsement or anything). And, yeah, you're right: you're paying out of pocket. Some fricking movement, people.

    I think your question about your resting follicles and wanting to know why they thought IVF would be a good bet is a good one.

    Donor eggs. Yeah. Digest with time. Glad you don't fear it. But complex, for sure.

    (Thanks, Roccie, for your support in recent days. It has been much appreciated.)

  3. We might actually be the same person. We're doing estrogen priming/gan. protocol next. It's probably the last cycle before donor. I don't fear the donor like I used to, either. I think there will be grieving if we go there, but I think I can do it. Hope I can support you in your journey, wherever it leads... So glad I found your blog.